Right Now
04/02/2005 10:00 p.m.
Right Now I am grateful for David who wrote me and said I was interesting.

Right now I am grateful for being alive. Because I've been suicidal off and on for a while, on new medication, it's just been a mess.

Right now I'm grateful for my boyfriend, for his infinite patience and love - it shows because he's still here!

Right now I'm excited to be reading on Wisconsin Public Radio tonight- reading my poems.

Right now I can breathe. I've not been able to breathe for the past few days. I wonder how long it will last.

Right now I'm wondering what draw depression has for me, why I've been stuck in it for over twenty years. Why I've chosen to. Part choice, part have-to because of chemicals.

Right now I'm wondering how Kyle Anne is doing with her son...

Right now I'm feeling fat because this stupid Lithium is supposed to make me gain weight and that is NOT what I want.

Right now I'm at work playing on the internet because there's nothing left to do.

Right now just about the only thing getting me through each day is working on my thesis and book. Almost done. Then what?

Right now I am jealous of colleagues that have been published and awarded but plan on fighting that jealousy by submitting a whole butt-load of poems out tonight and tomorrow.

Right now I'm proud of myself for crawling out of the hole.

Right now I'm trying to feel big.
I am currently Jumbled
I am listening to nada