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The Journal of Ashok Sharda Five sessions of five minutes of silence-day two; 12th, Jan, 200
01/12/2005 01:27 p.m.
Five sessions of five minutes of silence on day two commenced at around the same time as yesterday. The remained the same, my dressing room, while shaving and ended at around the same time, same venue, my bed, after an hours nap.
Quality wise, the experience was different. Realization wise too, though it wasn’t a new realization.
Physically, we cannot walk into time- I applied this logic and decided to practice in notime i.e., with in the periphery of the body. A question walked in the periphery of my concentration. How? How do ‘I’ keep confined to the body?
WHAT IS is always pregnant with what should be, I believe in this statement. All problems too are pregnant with the answers and all answers are with yet another question and so on. The only thing we ought to do is become one with this WHAT IS. And I did. The answer approached me in the form of a realization, I must have realized umpteen times.
ATTENTION IS THE KEY.
Become your attention.
Yes, I decided to concentrate on my attention. I decided to concentrate on concentrating my attention. I decided to control my attention. And once this is ‘attained’, I thought, then I can go on with other practices in the course of my goal of attaining ONENESS.
By the time I realized this age old realization, it was almost three. I lay down in my bed, initially concentrating on my breathing and later on the bright dark spot which formed before my closed eyes. I just held it. I held my attention.
After some time, faces started appearing though I knew I was awake. These faces were unintentional in the beginning. Later, I started intending faces and saw them as I intended them, clear and distinct but for the only face which I wanted to see so much and which did not appear. HA! HA! HA!
Next time, I consoled my self and dozed off.
I am currently Brooding
| Member Comments on this Entry |
| Posted by Rula Shin on 01/12/05 at 06:12 PM Yes, I think these silent sessions are re- realizations for you, whereas they are still new realizations for me hahaha "How do 'I' keep confined to the body" - this too, I think, is my question. And if one doesn't struggle to hold his attention, how can he keep from drifting away? If I don't fight, I drift. But if I fight, then I am concentrating on the fight rather than on BEING and SEEING...sensing all that is internally and externally from within my own body, my "I"...If attention is the key, which door does it open? Moment to moment LIFE...real LIVING. The beauty of clarity and understanding on a level previously untouched? I believe so much in this goal now. To find the ever existing door one only has to find the key, if it takes a lifetime of moments. So the door will appear before you and then the next key awaits to be discovered. I'm rambling, but I have so much desire and need to struggle HARD, to make my life about LIVING. I wonder why you could not see that one face you so wanted to see...what's in the 'appearance'? Where did these faces come from, intention yes? So then how does something intended simply ARRIVE? And what does it mean to intend something that does not ARRIVE? More questions hahahaha I have so many questions. You are beautiful Ashok. WHAT IS is always pregnant with what should be...problems pregnant with answers and answer pregnant with more questions...this I too believe whole heartedly. Thank you dear friend. For all that I am is just a prelude to what I am becoming, a hope in hopelessness. ONE ME. :-) |
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