new year
12/18/2004 12:29 a.m.
last new year's eve didn't have champagne
or anything fancy;
we just had our bodies, our smiles, and
my careless tongue

and with it i said
everything that brought the end of us

at 11:59pm our night settled into the dust on the couch and
you looked at me like you wanted to say something but
i told myself i didn't want to hear "i love you" tonight
for the fifth time,
i told myself i didn't want to
hear it

and so you watched me with those eyes past 12:00am and i
spat words at you that i shouldn't have said, i acted
as though i didn't want to make you happy and i didn't love you, too
[ but the truth is, i did ]

i remember you calling me up on january 1st,
"happy 2004.
i don't need you anymore."