Where are my Words
12/10/2004 04:30 a.m.
Where has it all gone? The words surface themselves in the fragments, the stanzas are bent out of shape. All those broken syllables just boil in my head. Inide the fourwalls of my skull it sounds like the television turned to the french channel... I get the gist, but not quite coherently.
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What have a proved this year? to anyone? I feel like such a wreck. I feel like all these years I've been an impostor. I feel like someone has ratted me out.

Where are the shiny gold As on the report card? Where's my reply from the big scholarship HQ? Where's my lead role, my chance to prove that I can act too? Where's my music gone? Where are all the things that this year was supposed to be? Why can't I pull it all together?

And she's there, behind it all, it seems. What a miserable failure I am here, dying in so many shadows. Drowning.

"And how are you guys doing?"
"Good."
"Good... Trish, your [dark, half asian] hair's getting so long..."