[Profanity]
10/20/2004 12:30 a.m.
If I'm such a great person and friend, I've been there for you and said your unsaid words, then how FUCK do I deserve to be treated? FUCK!

Everybody's changing all around me and the people I love are turning into people I don't even know. Elina changed... Jen changed... Barbara....

FUCK!!! And I've tried to email Jen but her account is full. I cut Elina right the fuck off. And talking to barbara doesn't work. Maybe the way she is is just the way she is, but I've never not had faith in her before this. She told me she would stop... it's like an abusive relationship. Well, no, if I'm feeling abused, then the relationship is abusive.

And they always always always tell you GET OUT.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I MATTER TO YOU PEOPLE ANYMORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHEN DID MY WORTH SINK TO NOTHING WITH YOU?!

because I still care.... but how long can I hold on to the hope that what I feel will mean anything?

I am currently Jaded