you know it's a crying shame
10/13/2004 09:24 p.m.


i feel so ill. i just keep thinking that if i keep trying, things will eventually get better & easier. and after months of convincing myself of this, i see how untrue it ended up being. tomorrow is the pixies concert that i have been looking forward to for eternity and right now, i don't even want to go. i just cannot see myself having a good time at all. everything hurts and no one could possibly understand why. i am the worst girlfriend/friend on the face of this earth and i wish i would just drop from it. greg has to come back to the EC tomorrow night after the concert because of me and i hate that. we were going to stay at scott's but my mother will not let me, and i kind of just don't want to, but his parents allowed him and he wants to. but i am hindering him from doing that. and i hate it. and he's angry at me because everything he says to me makes me feel stupid. like i am his annoying kid sister or someone he thinks very little of. he doesn't understand this, and he never will because that's just the way greg is. i don't like the feeling that i like him so much more than he likes me. i hate questioning everything i do and think and feel and say. i want to sleep and never awaken but i can't. i am stuck droning through the day like i have been the past seventeen plus years of my life.


oh. and why can't i stop crying?


I am currently Sad
I am listening to nothing