The same dream, again: 15 sep., 2004.
09/15/2004 01:21 a.m.






I saw the same dream for the umpteenth time with some meaningless variation, externally.
But was it the same ever leaving me in the middle of nowhere?

I can still see that over crowded railway platform and over stuffed coaches. There’s still time for the schedule departure I suppose since I seem to be in no hurry to board. I am standing on the platform simply waiting for nothing and lo! The train suddenly starts moving and in no time it catches speed so much that I can see the couches passing me fleetingly. I know it is impossible to catch the train now. I can see myself shouting and gesticulating asking frantically to the passengers standing at the doors or peeping out of the windows of the coach to pull the chain. They do oblige it seems since the train slows down but despite my efforts (and I remember I was so relentless) I just fail to board. The train catches gigantic speed again before I could come across an open door of any coach.
This happens once again and this time too I am on the verge of a failure as always. I can still SEE the train moving out of the platform. I can see myself running parallel to the last coach suddenly descending through the ramp leading to an uneven almost pebbled fields along the track. I can see myself still gesticulating but finally giving up my chase and suddenly I SEE my self leaping towards the last coach which seems to be almost gone but …
Yes, I am not very sure since here I woke up from this dream for the umpteenth time but this time with a feeling that I did not fail, since I did see my right hand clutching the supporting rod and right foot firmly placed on the footboard.
Did I? Did I finally made it to train destined to my ever eluding destination? Did I?
The crowd is always destined and never fails to catch their trains leading them to their deaths. It’s always me failing to catch MY TRAIN. But this times some how I have a strong feeling that I did.
I wish I could LIVE this dream rather than SEEING it.
CAN I?

I am currently Alienated