My son visited yesterday
08/23/2004 07:39 p.m.
He's 13, and its breaking my heart. I've written it before, he's in so much trouble. I can't detail it here. Suffice to say, enough trouble that he couldn't stay living with his dad, and I haven't been equipped to help him either. So, he's been living with his Aunt and Uncle and grandmother (no other children in their household) in Southern Oregon. He's sooooooo needy now, and so deeply troubled. I'm in a quandry. I want to love him, help him get through this, guide him. But less just over 24hours with him and I'm exhausted. I feel all I can do right now, in this moment, is pray for God's will, and then for the energy/wisdom/power to live with that and/or carry that out, whatever the outcome. He's my child, and I feel responsible of course, but so much of the damage has happened as a result (some direct and some indirect) of his father's inablility to parent all those children all at once (his/his new wife's/their together for a total of 8 children with one on the way). The vigilance needed to have kept my son supervised simply wasn't there, and I didn't think at the time that taking any of the kids was an option. Now I don't know. So, prayer, prayer and more prayer.
I am currently Exhausted
I am listening to lunch hour race past me