Day one down, ??? to go...
08/14/2004 08:07 p.m.
*breathing a huge sigh of relief* He made it through one day without ruining everything God has so richly blessed us with these last weeks. I know that sounds terrible, but that was my fear. My experience with him in the past was that he made things so intolerable for everyone around him that we were all throwing cigarettes at him for our own relief. I am feeling so blessed. I am feeling so blessed to have the opportunity to have this kind of experience with him, the man I have been in love with for so very long but had been so hurt by for the last two years. I so thought it was over. I so thought there was no hope. I was so angry, too! I kind of feel bad for the angry things I've written, but what I said was valid at the time. Well, these chickens haven't hatched completely yet, so I'm still just watching. But I like what I am observing. :-)

I love the new church, and the new pastor. I am so enjoying the worship. The prayer is so powerful, and I am liking it very much!. I love getting to know the people who attend that church. I love getting to know the pastor's wife (she is a cutie, with a lovely voice and very tender heart). I feel very loved there. I have been so afraid to say it, because in my life when things have felt too good to be true, there was a good reason (they WERE too good to be true). For the first time in a very long time, I feel able to trust. Of course, time will tell (I love how time does that). There is no harm in giving these experiences time to develop before I label them as "good" or "bad" for me.

I think it's worth saying at this point that I haven't been to church regularly for at least 17 years. Every time I tried to go, I would just scoff at the ridiculousness of it. I don't scoff at this church. I finally feel like I'm home.
I am currently Blessed
I am listening to three of my daughters singing