The Real Deal
07/28/2004 01:35 a.m.

This is an entry that needs to be out in the open now and allow people to understand exactly what is going on. Tell me after this that both my opinion and destruction of personal property are the same.

Back in 2000, I lived with my dad in a small semi-finished room above the garage separated from the main house. It was a cozy place for me to have my space away from the rest of the family. I’m not saying I disliked any of them, just that I like my own space from time to time (and the fact that they all smoked and I really couldn’t deal with that).

So I lived up in this room. I had a lot of personal things up there. A beautiful hand-me-down desk from my grandmother that my grandfather hand built; yearbooks from each year of high school; two sets of prom glasses; paper work/school work from high school; my paper journal, videos of each prom; the class slideshow on tape; my trumpets and various other knick knacks that I had in my room.

After I went off to college, I trusted everyone to leave my stuff alone. During my college years, I was informed that my dad’s girlfriend had been invited to live in the house with him. Along with her, her daughter and her middle son moved in also. Her son, thinking the same as me, really wanted his personal space. So with approval from me to use my room as a getaway, he lived up there. I explained to both him and my dad that when I come back, that my room was mine during my stay.

Now, in less than a year, the room became his and everything in it was in his possession. By that time, I was down at the Cape, working for my aunt during the summer. I had bought a computer and was using that for a long time. By the end of the summer, my aunt, as my work bonus bought me a brand new computer. I brought the new computer to school with me and brought the other computer back to my dad’s house to put in the room. At that time, the middle son and I had a decent liking to each other. So I told him that he can use my computer for his school work only and that he needs to take excellent care of it because I was still paying it off. He said ok and that was said and done.

One year later, I came home to visit and was told by my dad not to go up to the room because it was a mess. Well, they still to this day (they will after they read this)never knew that I did go up there that day. Yes, it was a mess, but I also noticed many things that not one person in that household would be honest and tell me what actually happened. I found my computer broken and thrown in a corner, my prom glasses wrecked, my collectables gone, paper journal ripped up and drawn in and read, my desk wrecked (drawers broken, holes in the top of it), my trumpet missing. All this I saw that day. All this and nothing but anger filled my head….my whole body even. I cried and cried. What do I say? What do I do? I just left. I couldn’t deal with it.

A week later, I asked my dad if I could get my stuff. I asked him for my computer because I was going to use it at school. I wanted to see what he would say to me. He said that he would have it ready for me. He never said anything about it being broken at all. So I knew right there he was hiding something from me and not telling me the truth about the situation. So I took him for his word and made it down to the house to find out that he never had any of my stuff ready for me to pick up. Now I mentioned more than just the computer. I told him that I wanted my desk, my books, my trumpet, and other things of mine. He told me flat out that he would have it ready for me and it never happened. I told him I would be back for it and he once again told me he would have it ready. That day never came. I managed to have him pull out my desk for me and that day found out what the desk looked like and pointed out to him what happened to it. He never said a word. A shrug of the shoulders and it was out of his head. I picked up the desk and left with nothing else because he never had it out. I left in anger.

I continued to pester him about my stuff. He told me that he was busy and never had a chance to get it out. But he did tell me when he had time that he would. He never kept me up to date as to if he managed to get to it, nor did he ever tell me about it being broken or anything being destroyed.

As of today, I don’t know the condition of anything over in that room. The only thing I have in my possession is my desk, which I had to replace 2 drawers and in the process of sanding and refinishing the desk completely  because of all the holes, marks, large incisions in the desk that were never there when I left to go to school.

I never said or did anything to her son. The most I ever did was let him use my room to get away from the stresses of the house, let him use my computer for his school work. I thought I could trust him. I thought since he was entering my family, I could put my faith in him. He was 15 years old when he did this. Old enough to realize what personal possession is. Old enough to know what is right and what is wrong.

I have a right to be angry at him for this. I do dislike him for his attitude regarding this situation. I do dislike him for his dishonesty, for his disrespect. I am angry at my dad for not stepping up and taking care of this matter and apologizing for what had happened, replacing what could be replaced; pulling something together that could somehow repay the damage that this son had done. Nothing was ever done, said or thought of by anyone in that house. To this day, I still am not in the wrong or at fault for disliking that son for what he has done. To this day, I am not in the wrong for being upset for my dad for not taking matters into his hands the way he should have in returning my things or taking a step to resolve this issue in replacing or somehow repaying me for what has been destroyed. If this son was that immature, it is definitely someone’s responsibility for his actions and someone has to step up and take what needs to be said to them.

The journal entry that was posted 2 days ago expressed my true feelings of the wedding that took place with my father and his love. I have no problem with them getting married. I never did and never will. I think the wedding was absolutely beautiful. But my feelings for her boys and how they have treated me will never change. They have hurt me in ways that can never be changed. I’ve never ever been so displaced in a family that no one would take this matter seriously enough to make things better.

Disrespecting me and my belongings is not a “walk away” matter. This is a very serious issue that happened and I believe that this was not my fault. I never deserved this. I never asked for anything to be moved, destroyed, and handled improperly. I never even received an apology. That hurts the most.

For my family telling me it wasn’t right to write my true and honest feelings about the wedding and the outcome of what happened has no balance of what has happened in my life. I know that people have seen what they really were like at that wedding. I know how to act in a church, baseball caps should not be worn in a church period never mind for a wedding. For what I said in that journal entry is a right of free speech. No names were mentioned, the world isn’t going to change because of the entry at all.

If people are upset about me because of the one thing I said, you really have to step back and look at all the negative things that have happened to me with them. Physical things. No word, whether truth or fake would ever compare to the destruction of my personal property or my well being.

My life will go on. Yes, I may have lost priceless possessions but it will go on. My anger for them will always be there. I will never forgive someone who has done wrong to me and never would admit to it. I would never say sorry for something I have never done wrong in the first place.

This is what I see is right. This is how it will stay. I am an adult. I know my responsibilities. I know the difference between wrong and right. And I definitely know the value of respect and how much impact it has on the affect of a person’s well being.

I thank everyone that took the time to read through this. Members of the site, if you wish to leave a comment and place your opinion, it would be greatly appreciated. Outside readers, I really hope you understand my position here. Those of you, you know who you are, who disagree with my wedding journal entry, I really hope this has helped you understand why I am angry and upset at those boys. I wish my dad the best with his wife and may you live long and prosperous together. I’m happy for the both of you.

Thank you.