Kind of Sad Today
06/25/2004 10:22 p.m.
Maybe I got too used to being happy
Because today I just feel like crying. I have no idea why. I miss Alan and want to see him so badly. I get to see him next Thursday, but not until around 11:00 pm because he has to work late. You know it figures that the one night it would have been nice for him to get out early, he is scheduled to work until 11:00 pm. The way my day has been going...I guess I expected something like that.

Oh I hope it isn't this hard for the whole year... I hope I don't end up missing him so much that it hurts this badly. I told myself in the beginning that long-distance was a bad idea, but I couldn't help falling in love with Alan. He is perfect and I can honestly day that I want to spend forever with him (yes this is after knowing him for only a short while). He is my soulmate and we clicked almost immediately.

I guess I just became so numb to the long-distance thing with Todd, that I forgot what it felt like to want this much. I don't think that I became this upset with Todd... I don't think I wanted or needed or loved as much as I do with Alan. Maybe I fell in love way too quickly, but I couldn't help that. At least with Alan, though, it is two sided. I know he feels the way I do... I know it hurts him too. I just hope we can survive the hurt...for just one year...that's all. Just one year...
I am currently Frustrated
I am listening to The cars driving by