Melancholy on Father's Day
06/21/2004 05:19 a.m.
I called my dad today... he didn't have much time to talk because he was teaching. Things have been haywire in my family for months. The big "D" makes everything unsettling.

I've been thinking about Andrew a lot the last couple of days. It's been a month today since he passed. Things that I once would consider child's play, can now make me edgy... kids dunking each other in a pool, etc... I'm on nerve. Last my son was dunking his head in a cooler of ice water to "cool off" and one of his friends pushed his head further in the water... I almost FREAKED!. Someone standing next to me said "they're just playing" and there was a time I would have said/thought the same thing, but not any more.

I've only taken the boys to the pool once since school was out. As soon as other people started coming around and horse playing I got them and went home!

My teenage cousin is a life-guard at a water park. He's saved 4 lives this summer. He's the only life guard that's saved anyone...

I'm back to rambling again.. so much going on, so much left to do... tomorrow I'm going to call a realtor and see if I can get a house to rent... I know which one I want, I just don't know if I can comfortably afford it.... they say you should make 3-4 times your monthly rent, but I like to have more cushion than that....what to do?

I am currently Melancholy