Making it through
06/07/2004 01:28 p.m.
I have so much going on right now, and all piled up in time, it seems. I keep thinking, "I'm 41, and things will surely even out now," but they haven't. *shaking my head* It still feels like way too much for me to bear, and yet here I sit, weathering the storm, taking another step and then another and pondering the why of life.

My child support is going up $140 per month so that soon I won't be able to keep my cable tv or internet. I know, it sounds so pathetic said like that, but it's the last bit of the social life I had managed to swing as a single mom, and of course it's negotiable. The one daughter I have living with me...we won't die for lack of these things. But still I feel angry about it. We still don't have health insurance, and once the child support goes up, there will be no way to get it. Well, Kate's dad can add her to his at least. *sigh* It just sucks. I can get another job, I guess, only if they factored in the income from that, the child support would go up again.

There is so much more that I can't even begin to write here. Ack.

Well, it's time for work. I want so much to feel better, to not have all these things weighing so heavily on me. But all I can think to do right at this point is to keep walking, keep taking steps in the journey that is this life, and keep believing (as I always have) that this life is exactly what is needed for the evolution and growth of my soul.
I am currently Disillusioned
I am listening to my daughter's alarm clock