Trying to find the right balance
05/05/2004 03:26 a.m.
*This is personal reflection on dealing with BP/ADHD with my child. Sometimes it helps me to be able to go back and see the steps in the journey*

it seems that life is all about trying to find balance... between work and home, children and personal needs, etc., but when the imbalance is in a person, it's so much more difficult.

My oldest was diagnosed ADD/ADHD last year. Ritalin instantly made a difference in his attention and activity, but moods and other behaviors continued to escalate. A few months ago his pediatrician decided he needed a more in depth evaluation... he is now being treated for BP disorder.

I am a teacher, I work with children with special needs, from emotional disturbances, to learning disabilities, autism, etc.... As a teacher I don't fully understand all of the disabilities of all of my students, but I try to learn more, and understand.

As a parent I see other teachers with a total disregard for the difficulties my child has, and some of these teachers have extensive background and training dealing with emotionally disturbed children etc...

Today, my son had his second appt. with the nurse at the psychiatrist's office. His blood work came back and one of the enzymes or chemicals in his blood is still pretty low.. normal is 4.0 to 12.0, he was at 5.8 after a week of his new meds. The Dr. will probably increase his dosage... please dear Lord, let him get a better balance soon! I'm beginning to think I need to be medicated to deal with him every day!

It is so difficult for me to deal with... I love my child and while I realize he has an imbalance, and can't control EVERYTHING he does, it seems like he has more control than he exercises and that he is trying to manipulate and control my life with his misbehavior... ie, he knows that if he's acting out repeatedly my mom won't watch him, and she's the only babysitter I have at the time, so if I don't have a babysitter I can't have time to myself...ARGH! It's so frustrating at times!

I love my children, both of them, but sometimes it's so hard to show it!
I am currently Frustrated