March 1, 2004
03/01/2004 01:55 p.m.
Just a jumble of thoughts and emotions, pretty much like most days lately I guess.

I'm celebrating my last 27 days to be 35. Wow! I didn't exactly picture myself being where I am in life right now. It's neither good or bad, just an observation. I'm not sure where I thought I would be or what I thought I would be doing, but being a single mom wasn't part of the equation in my mind 10 years ago.

In 27 days, it will mark 4 years since I appeared in court, before the judge and lawyers, for the dissolution of my 8 year marriage. Wasn't my choice to get a divorce, the court date worked out to be my choice. I had told my lawyer when my birthday was, that I would like to be in court by that date, so I became "me" twice on my birthday, the day I was born, and the day I took my own identity/name back 32 years later.

3 years ago, I didn't expect that I would still be single. Just goes to show you huh? I remember reading statistics that something like 65% of all divorced people remarry within a year of their divorce. As the years go by, the odds of remarrying decrease greatly. Maybe cuz people figure out they don't need another person in their lives to fulfill them, so they are less willing to go with the first thing that comes along?

My I'm sounding pretty pessimistic today aren't I? Guess it comes from the events of the past few days. I feel like I've been somewhat betrayed again, I could be wrong, only time will tell... sometimes I wonder if it's just me, but each time it happens (I'm betrayed, my trust is broken) I really do a lot of introspection... it doesn't keep me from trusting people again, just makes me take a closer look at people and their motives.

Oh well, I have to get to work for now.... Everyone have a good day!