substance abuse addict.
01/12/2004 01:34 a.m.
this is going to sound completely off the wall and everything but i feel the need to start a drug. seriously. maybe people would pay more attention to me instead of laughing me off. maybe it's my fault about attention because i feel like no one ever knows when to take me seriously. i joke around alot. but at the same time, people know my sensitive areas and they know who feel about the certainity of these issues. CHRISSIE gave me this pill the other day...it's like vicadan without he kodine. i was at work. oh wow man. too bad it wore off because i was having a blast. lol...that's the first time, well i guess the second, that i've taken something that i shouldn't have for no reason. that's i've taken something for a high. (the first time was when i took Zomig all day...then what do you know. i got put in the hospital.) i'm not saying that i would want to be this kind of person. but i would do things to myself to make others suffer. like get totally drunk so someone would have to take care of me...i've done it before. it's kind of morbid i guess. i don't know. some people are worse off than me with addictions and such but i feel so guilty for wanting to feel this...not want, but for feeling this way.

it's not hard to want to be addicted to something, after all, my mother is.
I am currently Gloomy
I am listening to nothing...nothing...nothing...