So I Lie...
12/14/2003 10:37 p.m.
If you think you know me personally think again. I am the biggest tale teller you will ever meet. I am my own best character. Chances are you've never even met the real me. The confident, charming boy you know is merely an act to convince you that I'm secure. When I moved to Nanaimo it started. New people, new place. I could be exactly what I wanted to be and so I started lying to everyone. I told them I used to be a player. I told them I used to get arrested. I told them I had tons of theatre experience. I told them anything and evrything to make myself more interesting...more complex. I'm tired of it. I'm just sick of perpetuating these lies and so this is my confession. I did not lose my virginity at age 13. Morganna was my first. I was never in any plays before The Wizard of Oz. I never dealt drugs. I only got arrested once because my friend stole a two-dollar football from Zellers and I happened to be with him. I was an outcast in junior high. I thought I was ugly. Morganna and myself had the same insecurities but she became herself. I became what others wanted to see and hear. I'm sorry to everyone I ever lied to. I hope you can forgive me. I just want to be known for who I am. Not some story I concocted to impress people. When your lies become your life your left with nothing. And when you start to believe them even just a little bit yourself because they make you feel better you have lost all vestiages of what makes you unique and special. I lived drowning in my own lies for two and a half years. I am Jordan...the compulsive dissembler...and I'm sorry....
I am currently Unsure
I am listening to What I Did For Love - A Chorus Line