everything
12/13/2003 07:37 p.m.
This journal feature on pathetic is brilliant. We tell the world our heart and soul and desperately hope that the people we see everyday don't find what's posted on the world wide web. It's so interesting. It's like a cry for help through a semi secret media. Like symbols strategically (or not so strategically) hidden in a famous painting. And when you have friends on here, you can tell them anything you want to tell them without actually saying it. You can say the craziest, most blaspheming things you've ever imagined to them, and when they see you in person, all you have to do is say "Oh, I was just in a mood." Cuz, you know, everyone says things they dont really mean when they're in a mood. And you know, sometimes it Is just a mood. Othertimes it's a dangerous truth you don't want to unleash all at once, but just leak out bit by bit so that you can gauge reactions. This journal is like a collection of semi-commitment confessions broadcasted to everyone who happens to find the right URL. And we don't know who all reads it. We think we do, sure, but how many other people might be following the trail of thoughts in your headspace? How many people that you don't know about will read your thoughts and look at you differently tomorrow? How many of us really don't care. I mean really. I mean what if your history prof is an avid poet and loves to read the new works on pathetic.org and stumbles across your new erotica piece? Lol, maybe the real question is how's this gonna effect your grade (I guess it depends on her fetishes right)? I mean, the same can happen with your pastor or sunday school teacher or your old kindergarten teacher or something. I just find that highly amusing. Then there are the journal entries we right about other people that we secretly hope they will read because of the sliver of the chance it will get them thinking in the direction we want them too. Everyone has one of those at least. And there's ALWAYS a good chance they'll start thinking alright, right in the direction you dont want them to think. Thats why you dont tell them to their faces. You post it in on an online journal in hopes that if they find the journal God must have put a hand in there somewhere, and all the more chance we'll get them to do or say or think what we'd like them to. And then there's just the simple fun of watching how somebodies thought processes work. Take this very entry. One can discover alot about how my brain works by just reading this entry and thinking about the way I've put things together. If you study enough entries, eventually you can discover patterns in how they jump from one thought to another to another. Like when people hold up inkblots and tell you to say what you're mind first jumps to. You can assume that if five people say "circus" to a random inkblot they must think in sort of the same way. I wonder if maybe by doing this, and reading enough of their rambling entries, maybe you could jump to their conclusions for them. It would be like mindreading, only instead of actually reading their minds, you just know how the software works so well that you can "predict" their answers. But hey, once you could do that well enough you could almost assume their identity. What would stop you? If you could answer everyquestion for them, the way THEY would answer it, that would be a step to becoming who they are. If you watched long enough you could pick up on behaviour habits and mannerisms that are theirs alone (or at least, the combination of these wouldn't be likely to show up in another person). If you could do that with mannerisms, you could do that with every other trait that makes them unique, given pathetic.orgs journals as a window into their heads...

crazy...
I am currently Creative