Just Me for Me...
12/13/2003 07:22 a.m.
Can I ever make sense to someone? I am bedazzled by the sheer magnitude of the frustrations, and heart tissue scars, I inflict upon others. I am a person who draws others to him. But sometimes it seems that when people become aquainted with me they never really escape unscathed. I have dire and drastic effects on those around me and am a contant source of bemusement and concern. I project my emotional state onto those closest to me to the point that they become overtly vehement that I change. I seem to be the kind of person who can never make up my mind. And if I think I have I really have just been fooling myself all along. I'm tired of wanting what I can't have. I'm sick of being the sensitive one. I wish sometimes that I could understand just what I need. I want there to be a time where every move I make doesn't equal pain and suffering for someone else. I feel like I'm a porqupine in circle of flesh and everytime i make a move I poke someone. And sometimes when I feel trapped I flail and hurt everyone around me. I can't just be Jordan doing what's best for himself because evryone else has a vested interest in what I say and do.
I am currently Bemused
I am listening to Ozma - Tetris