Missed by 20 min/ Dean (again)
12/04/2003 06:43 a.m.
Arg, I was hoping to chat a bit with Jordan tonite on pathetic here, but I missed him by like, 20 minutes cuz I was on the phone with Dean. Who is still trying not so subtly to come on to me. what a guy. Whatever, I'm sending the message that I'm his PAL, not his girlfriend-in-waiting. He thinks he's master of the game. That's ok, I can let him think what he wants. Dean's a nice guy, really, don't get me wrong. I'm just not willing to subject myself to his girly mood swings, lol. He's got a really short temper and he doesn't laugh enough, but apparently he's not into any "bad stuff" anymore because he realized it wasn't good for him. I'm not sure if I buy it.... It's strange when you talk to someone you used to care about so much. You feel that shadow of the way you felt before there, but in this case.... it's a shell, you know? It's there, and it's still what it was... but it's pale in comparison to everything else in my life right now. Not that this guys welfare doesn't matter to me. It does. It's just that I'm not willing to tumble in head over foot for him. I'm already head over heels. I don't need it twice. Not that it'd be the same... I don't know. I can't ever say things the right way around. He's an odd one. Calls me up for no reason, but avoids answering any of my questions except the rare few. We had some laughs though. Haha, I told him flat out "I'm not 'cool.' I'm THE most uncool person ever. I'm a total GEEK. I'm the second geekiest person I know... It's great. But I'm warning you, if you want to be my friend you have to know that I'm very, very unhip at times, mainly all the time." lol. Apparently being uncool is sexy (I was all "since when did YOU think so..."), and he didn't want me talking to his cousin because he was afraid his cousin would hit on me ("why do you care?"). Funny boy. Once again, whatever. It's so odd when exs call you up. You can remember all the flirting you used to do, AND all the reasons why you're not together anymore. In his case, there are many reasons. Alas, tis 10:43 and I should be off to sleep.

Jordan, if you're reading this, sorry I missed you babe. I'm saying good night to you anyways.

[x o x o]
I am currently Tired
I am listening to bzzzzzzzzzzz