ProjectWyze/The "Talk" with mom, lol
11/30/2003 06:35 a.m.
Listening to Eyes Wide Shut by Project Wyze. I haven't listened to these guys in a while, I forgot how much I liked them. this song is great. I'll post the lyrics, gimme a sec to find em.

Alright, here they are.

Eyes wide Shut Project Wyze

Tangled in the webs that she weaves
Dangling in disbelief, trapped I cant breathe
She's the one that left me
Stranded feeling empty
Now I'm all alone reading the letters that she sent me

Tired of playing games
Tired of being in last place
You say I move to fast pace, who are you to judge?
If only you can love the way you hate me,
everythings so shaky
Broken, lost, crushed, all the above
Too many mistakes, too many bad breaks and bad luck
Too many lies and closed eyes, now I'm stuck in a bad rut
You said you'd be committed from the beginning 'till end
I can't believe you said we're better off just being friends

I can't believe this
You can just walk away
I can't believe this
Each and every other day
I can't believe this
Now my mind is blown
I can't believe
That I am all alone

EYES, into a place that I take you
WIDE, you see I just can't replace you
SHUT, and now my heart it breaks in two
Follow, follow, Eyes Wide Shut

You thought you left me empty handed, stranded and broken hearted
Mistreated and cheated so take it back to where we started
To the first time we met and the first time we kissed
Together forever, well what have I missed?
If only you can see just how I feel and what you mean to me
I never thought that you could walk away so easily
You said you needed space, now you're out hanging with him
You said we can't be lovers so I know we can't be friends

I can't believe this
You can just walk away
I can't believe this
Each and every other day
I can't believe this
Now my mind is blown
I can't believe
That I am all alone

{Chorus (2X)}

Just the other day
I looked at her, she looked at me and then she walked away
'Cause I never really understood why
She could pass me by without giving us another try
So tell me what youare looking for
'Cause I donat know no more
All I know is that I feel just like my hearts been torn
And I thought I was more than just a friend
And now you're leaving me in the very end
And now my vision is a blur
All I really know is that I loved her, I loved her

I can't believe this
You can just walk away
I can't believe this
Each and every other day
I can't believe this
Now my mind is blown
I can't believe
That I am all alone

{Chorus (2X)}

******
This is just one version. I like the other one better but couldn't find the lyrics. there are a million versions of Erica too, which is another rad song. I find, I tend to find certain songs that I like and just shuffle through them, so I dont listen to much new stuff... when I do, if I really like it then I'll probably be listening to it for the next how long, lol. Like Weezer. Jordan got me listening to Weezer, and I found there were lots of songs that I liked so now thats some of the stuff I listen to, Jordan's nuts when it come to lyrics. I swear, he'll turn on the radio and be able to sing to whatever songs on there. It's nuts. Ooh, I watched Likin Park live in Texas, man do those guys put on a show. Chester was screaming up a lung. It would have been intense to be on either the stage or the crowd. They did a really cool version of "pushing me away." Oh, hey, Denial by PW just came on. It';s pretty good too. hehe, I'm such a weirdo. I listen to every thing. Oh wow, there's this one comedian, Emo Philips, oh man, funniest guy in the world. He is the biggest geek ever. If you look at the pic on JP Davies's (Jordan's) poem Recipe for disater, thats him. What a hottie. lol.

Oh in other newsI'm easing my mother into the fact that I'll be having sex in the future, using Barbara as an example of course. lol, I told her about barbaras lack of virginity, and she was all like "oh?" and asked calm (as opposed to what I expected her to be like) questions... Good sign good sign. I told her "Ya, she hasn't told her mom cuz she's scared what her mom will say. She's afraid the minute she does her mom's gonna yank the leash on all of her freedoms, you know, keep her and andrew away from eachother." which is probably some of her fears, and which is all of my fears. she was like "So if she tells her mom that, doesn't that sort of corner her mom? Like, she isn't allowed to say no to her going somewhere or she'll bring that up... is that what'll happen?" I was like "no no no, she can still say no, but it's gotta be for the same reasons it'd be if she wasn't having sex right?" she goes "Oh yeah, thats fair..." I told her "You can't stop kids from having sex. You might as well just make sure they're safe right?" "Does that go for you too?" "Of course. We have an agreement. I'll tell you the truth and you can't get angry OR yank MY leash." "Are you telling me you're going to be having sex soon?" "I'm telling you it's a possibility." "You don't even have a boyfriend." Now, here I considered saying many things, such as "Mom, I've sorta been seeing Jordan for the past while", or "Mom, I've had the oppourtunities before..." or something like that, but instead I just opted for "That's not the point mom, I'm just trying to tell you that if I wanted to I would, and our agreement is you have to be nice, and I have to tell you." I'm undecided as to what I will do if I hold up my end of the bargain and she doesn't. I'd be having sex anyways, that for sure. There'd probably be alot more rule breaking.
Meh, whatever. Right now i'm trying to think about how I can bring about the fact that I'm with Jordan without the leash tightening. Or if I even will. God I couldn't stand less freedom. But I think I've been going over there enough now that if I suddenly they said I couldn't I could put up a good arguement. With a good enough arguement, i can do whatever I want. It's just usually I can see what they mean, even I don't agree with it. I just don't know if I'm gonna risk it. See if I keep things the way they are, the freedom wont get cut short, and I could just not tell her and have sex, but that would A) break my deal with her, which I dont particularily want to do, and B) mean condoms condoms condoms for sure because I couldn't go on the pill because I dont have time for a job. So if she'll probably take it well, then I'll tell her the truth.... I just need to guess when will be the right time. I think I oughta hang around Jordan and Matt more though. Get her further used to the fact that I see them often. You could call it trapping her, or strategy, whatever. Or if I dont tell her the truth, I'll probably feel guilty... so I don't know. I'll tell her... I just need a good "when."
I am currently Crafty
I am listening to PW