Dean and Such
11/20/2003 10:50 p.m.
I'm so happy. Life is great. i'm afraid of breaking the spell by saying it, but seriously, life is being wonderful to me.
HA! Wanna know something funny? 2 days ago an Ex calls me out of the blue. I hadn't talked to this guy for a while, I thought I'd never talk to him again. So we chatted for a long while about his 3 arrests since he moved and all that jazz. He's one of those misguided kids that just doesn't see why ripping a guy from his truck and joy riding with it would be such a bad thing. That was one of his arrests, apparently. Nice guy, I mean really he is (to me, not others, bad sign #1).... he's just not the most stable person you meet. Figures, lol. He's got a bit of emotional problems he needs to deal with, one of them being he thinks he's going to swoop in and carry me off to be his girlfriend. He hinted to it on that first phone call, and I hinted away from it. I didn't wanna crush the guy, but I didn't want to give him the wrong impression.

"are you single?"
"I'm seeing someone."
"ah who's this someone?"
"I dont have to tell you."
"Ok, to the point, are you single or not??"
"Single, yes. Available, no."
"why not?"
"Because."
"Because...?"
"Because I really care about the person I'm with."
"but you're single?"
"...Yes..."

In went in circles for a bit and then I just got fed up and changed the subject. Like I said, he's a nice guy, but to him girls are just flavours. He wants to try em all. Not to mention the drug charges and other criminal offenses aren't something I want to associated with really. Dont get me wrong, I mean, I care about this guy in the way that I'd care about most of my friends, sure, but it's a long... make that INDEFINITE gap between that and considering dating him. Besides... with the guy I have now... :D Like, I said to start, I'm so happy. I feel kinda bad for dean though. He thinks he has a chance. I told him "Dude, I'm not your type. What would you want with a girl like me anyways?" ...silence. I was thinking 'ha, got ya there didn't i?' lol. Then he said "well what do you want from me?" I figured "nothing" might be a little cold, so I went with

"Your respect."
"My respect?"
"Yes, your respect. If anything, I'd like to be a girl that has your respect."
"Ok, done."
"just like that? Bang, I have your respect?"
"Well I dunno, you haven't done anything to lose it, so I guess it's still there."

Question is, was there to start? Haha, man. Whatever. He told me he loved me on the phone last night and I was like well, that's a sure fire way to know that A) he either thinks i'm some starry eyed damsel thats gonna be in awe that the "bad boy" said 'I love you', or B)he has no real clue as to what love is.
Both are probable answers. I think it's interesting, the way he doesn't even really compare.... :D:D:D
I am currently Lucky
I am listening to Matt Good