stress?
11/14/2003 06:55 a.m.
Uh oh. I can feel it. Its like a boulder rolling around inside my brain and everytime I try to grab that floaty thing it rolls over my hand and breaks my fingers. I feel it. It's knotting up. I don't know what. Does stress do this? I need to chill out. I think I'm starting to become over worked. School Monday to Friday (english french biology peercounselling). Stage Band Tuesday morning, Thurday after school. Jazz Combo Wednesday and Friday morning. Soccer thursday nights and sundays. Not just doing all of this, no, but being at the top of it all. "Succeeding" 24/7. As in every class. Praise in everything else. Fundraisers for all of it, because my family isn't super rich. Trips, meetings, deadlines, dues... AHHH!! Not to mention an attempt at a social life with parents that always say no. Well thats not fair, not always. They're alot better than they were I'll tell ya that. but it's hard when everyone I'm close to has more freedoms than me. Seriously, I can think of 2 people who are 15 that I can relate to almost totally. Thats Jen and Becca. Jen's in alberta. Becca goes to MIH and I dont see her often either.

Whatever, I guess this weeds people out. If they can't cope with it then I'm obviously not worth enough to them. Like Barbara. Barbara understands that I can't do everything or go everywhere. That doesn't change our friendship. Jen's a million miles away and I dont call her let alone see her as much as I want to, but she's still my sister. Pah.... I'm just sick of feeling like there's a knot in my gut. I need to relax. *takes calming breaths* *thinks certain happy thoughts* *smiles*
there thats better


I am currently Better