Happiness (with a dirty add on)
11/11/2003 12:05 a.m.
Wow.... Feelings of euphoria.... Everythings turned out rather well. My student from Hong Kong is so cool, we get along so well. Things are going great with everyone and everything. My parents are letting me have a bit of a life, I'm on top of school, I have a sister, even my dog's being nice. It's strange to be so happy. I've got about 5 unfinished poems that I can't put together to sum up what I feel.

Yesterday was so sweet. I went over to Jordan's house and watched fight club. Very trippy movie. Reminded me of that turning point in a beautiful mind where you don't know what side to believe or what to think. Very cool. I can't stop smiling when I'm around Jordan. It's impossible. I tried, it doesn't work. everything feels so right and I just can't help thinking that the word NEVER really is a huge word... a dangerous word. I word that shouldn't be used too lightly. I'm smiling just thinking about him. It's crazy. There were times where we'd just look at each other, and the hugest grins would come to our faces, followed by the biggest hugs in the world. I didn't want to ever have to let go. But I can't say anything to my parents. Because the moment I say I like a guy, security clamps down. it sucks. But what do I care? For the moment all is well with the world. Now the challenge is how do you get good poetry out of contentness? I guess we'll soon find out... ************************************************************* Ok, so it's still the 10th, and I'm adding to this entry because I don't want to make another. I wrote a poem. It's kinda like an orgasm really. Finishing a poem finally, when you've been dying to for what feels like forever. I mean, ya, you've got your half-done poems that are never really the bang you'd like them to be, like your first blowjob. But those aren't really up to snuff, so you try again and again, and it's like one bad bj after another. And then you finally finish a poem, and it's actually to your liking, and it's like WHAM!! RELEASE! And you can finally get to sleep at night, you know? Without that perpetual knawing inside you like a jones when you want it so bad. When all you do all day is think "poem, poem, poem, there's a poem. I want to make a poem, I NEED to write a poem. Can you help me write it? Wanna inspire me? ;)" And then you lie back after you finish your poem, and you're like "wow... that was... wow... Was it as good for you as it was for me?" But then, then you realize that there's no one there, that you wrote it all by yourself. So in conclusion poetry is a metaphor for masturbation... that is, until you collaborate ;)
I am currently Great
I am listening to Ling talking to Keemo.