All and All I feel...
11/05/2003 07:18 p.m.
So I sit here listening to every song ever performed by Cake and thinking about Trish. I don't know why this girl is back in my head but I know that I dreamed about her last night for the first time since we broke up. I know that the last thing I want to do is hurt her. I just know that my friends and family are mystified as to how what was a "mistake" only like two months ago is now suddenly back. I can't offer any explanations other than the fact that when she's around and I can hold her in my arms every problem or confused thought in my head just dissapears and is replaced with a feeling of complete and utter rightness. I hate being the guy everyone sees. That arrogant, cocky, guy. Who believes he can get any girl he wants. The thing is I sadly usually do. I guess I don't have any answers so I'll keep asking rethorical questions. All I know is that I still love Mo but I'm not in love with her. I just want her to be truly happy and I know that her happiness does not include me. I'm ok with that... I just don't want to keep jerking everybody around all the time because I can't make up my mind. Love is a very confusing thing which always comes from directions I put in my past or said would never happen. I guess I'm just naive and trying to fool myself all the time. But hey thats the mysterious confusing guy that is Jordan...
I am currently Geeky
I am listening to Frank Sinatra by Cake