stain
10/17/2003 02:18 a.m.
What's sad is that I bet that I'm his stain.If he cares about her, then I am a regret, a piece of his past he can never erase or change. And now she's gone. like far far far away and he's not gonna see her until next summer, at least. And I'm thelittle chunk of faith. He's thrown me away. Good for him. Accept does he have to throw everything else out with it? What am I, a total stranger? you couldn't tell the difference. an attractive body means nothing if the person has mind not to even talk to you. He could have spent his time with her instead of me....

And look who appears to have won? when at first she couldn't have who she wanted, and it looked like he barely even wanted her...now everything fallen to pieces for me and him, not that it was together in the first place mind you, and she, with all her stupid butterfly beauty, has come out on top. Maybe I'm jealous. Maybe I'm angry that the universe seems to reward irritated faces. I don't want to be her. I'd rather be me and have no one. Good for her. Except she has everything, and if she doesn't she sure as hell doesn't let that on, and she still finds reason to be angry at the world around her. fascinating.

I'm sad that I'm his stain. I wish I could erase myself from his past so that he could be free of guilt and be happy. I hope that I'm not what's making him unhappy. If I am than I am. It wasn't a real thing anyways. What am I jabbering on about?
I am currently Bad
I am listening to Numb- Linkin Park (Thx J)