Happy Birthday Jordan.
10/12/2003 06:12 p.m.
Happy Birthday Jordan!

He's 18 today. Odd. I was fourteen when I dated him some months ago. FOURTEEN. That number bounces off the inside of my skull and confuses me. 14 and 17. Yesterday, at his house, it was 15 and 17. Today it isn't. It's all too odd to comprehend. Yesterday was an odd sort of day. An odd, confusing, pleasant, terrifying and strangely wonderful day. It was like "ok, here I am with Jordan, in a room, alone, watching Fifa soccer and football." It's all so strange, because you'd think you get to know a person quite well when you date them, and you do, but not as well as you hope. Now both of us are single, and aren't really waiting on anyone, so we're both technically fair game. But we're sitting in this room, looking at eachother, and I'm seeing things I never saw before. Just little things I hadn't noticed, a weird quality in his eyes when he was looking at me. It was hard to tell if there was much truth in the room, or whether we were both just playing a game. He would do things that would just confuse me. I told him that he confused me, that I was all confused. He replied by saying he was too... that I "have a different vibe" than before, one he couldn't place. It just seems odd for HIM to be confused. Then again, he's always been a very confused guy but, in this.... Meh, I don't know. All I know is that yesterday was what I'll call a learning experience. And that I'm happy to be on (somewhat, lol) honest terms with him.
I am currently Calm
I am listening to Ed on the phone