Ramblings, just Ramblings
10/01/2003 04:07 p.m.
So I'm sitting here, in the counselling centre. I've got no homework to do. No real work to do. No capp booklet to work on... pah. So, whatever, I get to be here instead, yay! Only I can't really write anything because people are constantly going in an out of here. I guess I really dont like people to know I write poetry. Not alot of people anyways. they get nosy. I don't like that. Besides, as a "peer counsellor" I can't have people reading into my instabilities, lol. That probably won't reflect very well on me. *sigh*, the things we do to keep an image. I'm the only one in this class in this block. it's not even a block on my timetable. my timetable says I have nothing in B block. Basically they said to me "Trish, we'll correct your timetable to whatever you like in a hurry if you give us a block of your time" and so naturally I was like "sure." So now I'm an imposter cousellor, but mainly a gopher, which works for me, I guess. It's only busy in here at the very beginning and at the very end of the semester. as of right now, and for a few months, all we deal with are straggler kids and computer timetable glitches. So, that's why I'm here, I guess. I have a poem on my home computer thats pretty much finished, but the last line wasn't so I saved it and left it at home. I wish it was here. I wanna finish it and edit it and put it up. It looks like it's about one thing, and in a way I guess it sorta is, but not really.... it's hard to describe. It's an odd one. I know some people will read and go "aha! that's what she's writing about." but the truth is i just wrote and thats what came outta my fingers. Maybe it is about that situation.... odd.

So yes, now I'm writing to pass time. This is nothing important, so leave now unless you wanna hear mindless drabble.

Biology's next. I love biology. I'm the biggest geek there is (science geek, band geek, theatre geek, poetry geek). I like knowing how things work. I can't ever remember a time where I didn't want to know everything. It's kinda scary. Biology just makes so much sense. you can take what you learn, and take what you know, put it together and make a guess, and Mr.Pistor will verify the answer. I wanna stump him with a question one day this semester.
Elina. there's something to talk about. For the last week or two, me and barbara have sorta been being tough on her. The thing is, she takes it so badly that it's hard not to. I think we kept doing to try to toughen her up .She seems to have this mentality that world "should" be fair, and that we "shouldn't" poke fun at her. I dunno, I think the reality of it is everyone pokes fun at everyone, and you can't always whine and pout about it. Sometimes the best way to deal is to poke back a little. dont punch, just poke (bumper sticker anyone?). She has a boyfriend. Her first serious boyfriend. And really, he's a super guy, and she cares about him so much, and vice versa, so it's great. But whenevr we joke about her flirting with another guy (which I think, the way she's going about it, is pretty harmless), she'll flip. That's not the only thing, but that's an example. So yesterday we had a big talk.... but it's so hard to talk to her because she's so wound up, you know? Not to cause any disrespect to the girl, because I heart her and she's great, but lately it's like she's so stressed she can't think straight. Stressed about what, is my question. maybe it's us. I apologized. I'm going to try to be better today in biology. We'll see how that goes. I'll write how that goes.
Ansgar's rad, lol he's a german exchange student in my biology and we laugh all class and chat quietly and Mr.Pistor doesn't really care cuz he knows we get it. Or at least thats what I think he thinks. maybe he just hasn't noticed yet. Anyways, ansgar burnt me a CD of a band called Apocolyptica. They play metal on cellos. Just cellos. It's cool. Oh, and aparantly Andrew, a guy in my french, likes me, which flatters me. And it's not that he's an un-datable guy.... I'm just not looking for a guy. I've sorta been wondering if I'm not looking for a guy or if i am looking for a guy and, as nice as Andrew is, it's just not him. I dunno... ugh. This sucks, because he's so so so so rad. I don't like hurting rad people. Especially not Andrew, because he's great. Oh, for those who read barbaras journal, it's not her andrew. But ya, I'm really not sure of anything when it comes to anything with a penis lately. Except my dog. I like my dog. Where's my dog when I need him....
I am currently Indifferent
I am listening to Mr. Macdonald's muffled voice.