Blue beads
09/09/2003 09:35 p.m.
I have been crying for about an hour straight. I don't think I can stop. But I have nothing to be sad about, really. I confuse myself sometimes.

Emotions get the better of me, they really do. My heart muscles are zinging with a pent-up need for release, and there's no where to get that from. No where. Whatever it is that's got me will not loosen it's grip. It's hurting my chest. And so the tears come, with no apparent culprit to blame.

I can only liken it to a 'love' kind of feeling. But not love, it aches too much and it isn't directed at anything. I don't think it's quite strong enough either and it has none of the benefits. It's a little like listening to a song that once had a lot of memories linked to it, but it's been so long since you last heard it, that it's lost all significance. A dull, clenching squeeze.

Ironically, the song "Raspberry Beret" Won't leave me alone, it's driving me insane.

I suppose I will just wait it out. Hope for the best. Curl up under my quilt and sing silence to myself. This will sound stupid if you're reading this. I'm sorry.

blue beads around my wrists, they fell from my eyes...
I am currently Bothered
I am listening to my mind