Sonnet 210/ Me and Jen's Labels
08/18/2003 09:11 a.m.
Sonnet 210

You seek the best that nature can confer
Upon our Univers? then come and see
That beauty shining like a sun on me
And on the world, virture's disparager.
Onlt, come soon; Death is ever astir
To seize the best, leaving the wicked free.
She is too lovely for mortality; (*)
The gods are looking eagerly on her.
Come soon, and you will see all comeliness
All virtue, and all gentle-mannered ways
Sweetly combined past any power to sever;
And you will vow my rimes are all valueless,
You'll stand so dazzled in delicious maze.
-But if you linger, you will weep forever. (*)

-Petrarch


(*)= lines I love.


I found this in an old school poetry textbook. I love that book. I've come to realize more and more that me and jen are the inside outs of eachother. what she is on the outside, I feel on the inside, and vice versa for her.
Well, lemme explain jen on the outside.
She was born with browny blonde hair, milky tan skin and eyes that are green and orange, no lie. She is gorgeous to me. Her hair is currently turquoise and Mandarin (Semiperm) and wavy. She wears tee shirts with signatures on them, some with cheesy slogans or union jacks. Her arms are convered almost to the elbows with multi coloured jangling bracelets and her neck is adorned with about 6 or 7 necklaces. She barely dares to leave the house without her eyes rimmed in back.

That is jen.... not that that has always been jen, but that is her right now, for the moment. Last year she was tight jeans and tops, this year she's totally different, and every time she's genuine. You look at her and you KNOW there's more to her than what you are looking at. Now this chick has been my best friends since we were the tender age of 5... or was it 4.... either way, thats what you initially see when you see Jen. when you see me, you see you're average "pretty" girl. I'd be classified as "unpopular prep" because I somewhat LOOK preppy, I suppose, but I make no real effort to be "cool" or make friends with the right people. But you look at me and you don't see who I am. You can label me with such ease and it scares me. You could look at me and see "prep" and never look into who I was and never know. When you look at Jen, you know there's something else there. But people don't see the other things about Jen, her great insecurities about her body, how she doesn't think she's smart, so many things.... and she says that thats who she is on the inside.

So we're inside out. I don't see the point of insecurities. She's filled with them. I barely wear jewelery, she's draped in them.... but there are people who'll look at her, and then look at me, and see me as just another girl.... maybe it's a balance. Maybe for some reason girls without too too much excess insecurities are outwardly subdued looking. I look subdued. WHY DO I LOOK SUBDUED! Damn it.... ha.

I want to be seen for who I am, or rather, who I think I am right now... but that changes so much. ARG! That last thing I want to be. Normal. Gross. I want the world to know that I'm not just another girl..... but I'm guessing you have to dig for it.

Now, to find a person willing to do a little digging and look just a little furthur....

Haha, but I find it really funny the looks me and jen get when we walk downtown every day. Looks like, hmmmmm those two aren't friends.... maybe cousins with different styles... or perhaps 2 people on an errand together... I dunno... it's like "oh look, a punk and a prep."

Ew.
I am currently Better
I am listening to Californication - Red Hot Chille Peppers