Thumbless Cooks
07/23/2003 06:49 p.m.
My best friend Phoebe works at a restaurant. We were hanging out with one of the servers and she was talking about some lady who followed her across the room to ask why her oatmeal was taking so long. Ok, first of all, if she's gonna bitch about how long her OATMEAL is taking, WHY did she order it at a restaurant? I mean, it takes me like 2 minutes to make oatmeal, so why not eat it at home, where it's cheap, fast, and delicious and shut her pie hole? People are so weird. But I was going somewhere with this. I told the server she should have told the lady that there is a law that the restaurant has to hire a certain amount of handicapped people, and as it turns out, none of the cooks have thumbs. Just imagine it. A line of about 5 cooks, all without thumbs. And then I told her she should have told the lady "I can't believe how insensitive you are! Why do you hate handicapped people so much?" That would have shut her up. This began an experiment to see how hard it was to actually do things without thumbs. We made Jeremy light a lighter without using his thumb and he actually did it with his long scary fingers. Anyway, the reason I wrote this is because I was going to write a poem called "Thumbless Cooks" but when I started working on it, it sucked and I decided to just write about it. Anyway, just deperately trying to avoid thinking about the funeral.
I am currently Tired
I am listening to Q-Feel, Dancing in Heaven