do you. . ?
07/05/2003 05:55 p.m.
I feel so bitter, 'cause you left me here, and I just can't comprehend how you fins happiness in other company, because I'm always torn in two. Alone for so long, and now these memories are hitting me at full throttle; my comfort has been rendered incoherent. My tears are falling with a burning sensation as I type this out, tonight.

My mind is raped by no one, but destroyed by itself, daily. You think my behavior is irrational, but I think, just maybe, you fail to comprehend the functions that take place inside my head. You've never felt the total obliviating feeling of complete loneliness. You've never had your world turned upside down in a matter of instants; a piece of information from someone who may as well have been a stranger; I never flaunted him in your face.

I'm clinging to this blanket in the hopes your scent still lingers, while you're out amongst your friends and I am in here crying rivers. I'm hoping my anxiety, and these feelings of neglect are simply pointless, mindless, nothingness (I'll try to just forget).

I'd fall of the edge of the world, and slit my wrists in the fall (just for you), but tonight, I'm sitting here all alone.

You're out having fun.

I am currently Detached
I am listening to Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah