I'm not Sick
06/21/2003 04:22 a.m.
I'm trying to will myself not to be sick.
I am not sick.
I am not sick.
I have a headache at the back and base of my skull.
I cough up crap and I can't think straight all the time.
But I am not sick.
I am not not not not sick.

Ugh... this not being sick sucks. Hehehe, a good friend of mine today asked me if I'd date her if she ever became a lesbian. I was all thinking, hmmm, I might have to see about that, considering I'm straight, lol. I love her, she's so super. I think I'd be a mess without her really. Alot of people don't understand her, and that's ok, because she's a hard person to really understand (I assume, considering I don't know anyone, including her, that really understands her) but when you get to and you see who she really is, she's beautiful. I mean, really, really beautiful. She was beautiful on the outside anyways, but she's really a beautiful spirit underneath too. When you get to know her, it's really hard not to love her. She's got days when she's waaaaay too blunt, way too outspoken, way too much of an oddity to the rest of the world, and she knows it. but hey, we all have those days, right? Whatever, she rocks. I think she rocks alot because she's very, very honest. It can be very jarring to meet someone that honest. It can jar you for a while. But hey, there aren't many you can count on to be that honest whenever wherever.

There are so many people I love. I'm begining to realize all these crazy things about love. Not just romantic love, but love in general. There aren't many friends of mine that I can say I really, truly love. I'm also realizing how much I love people that might be leaving, for school or other stuff. It's not that I didn't love them before, or know it. It's just that now that there's the chance that they might be leaving you, you're very aware of that love. Actual love. Not just lust. Not just something about being caught up in the moment. Love. Like, I care about you, and I want you to be happy love. I think that if you're a dishonest person, especially to yourself, love is an easy thing to lie about. You can say in your head "I love you." But there are just some times when you look at someone, they might not even be looking back, and you just think "I love you, I really, truly care about you. Crust and all." Hehehe, that's a Chris Rock Bigger and Blacker Joke, lol, but you get what I mean. Stupid love, lol. Can't live with it, and you can't get it to dress up in a-- lol, sorry, that was an Emo line coming up.

*Sigh* if you're ever in the mood to listen to a funny white guy with issues, DL Emo Phillips E=MO2... he'll make you feel sane-er than you have in days.
I am currently O.K.