Boldogsag!
04/25/2003 12:15 a.m.
I have a tattoo on my back that says "Bolgodsag" (Bol-dog-shag) with a little flower underneath it. It's a Hungarian word that means "Happiness." The last few days, I have been in a really good mood. Last summer, I was angry about everything and I felt like there was nothing good in my life and complained about everything, which is weird, because last summer I was in a relationship with Marcos, and then he dumped me really bad. So I guess part of it was being with him. I thought I would be really bitter and mean even after I got over the emotional part of the breakup, but things are really looking up for me. I mean, don't get me wrong, totaling my car was not fun and now I have black eyes on top of everything, but I dunno. The day I got in the accident, I got about 15 phone calls from random people around Girdwood asking how I was. I guess it's really nice to just get that affirmation sometimes that people really do care. I mean, I always know people care, but sometimes it's nice to be reminded. And my older sister, Amanda, told me the day of the accident that she wouldn't know what to do if I died. That was really nice. I mean, my sister and I get along really well, but we've never been the "I love you" huggy type sisters unless something serious happens. But anyway, it's just nice to feel loved, even though I'm not in a relationship or anything. Phoebe has been gone since last August off on exchange in Scarborough, England, and I am really missing a piece from my life. I guess I have just been mulling over what could have happened to me. I could be dead. I could be in a coma. I could have a broken pelvis. But instead I just have bruises, and those heal quickly. Every day I feel much better than the day before. Things are looking up. I am moving out, I'm not dead, school will be over next week (for 4 months anyway), and I'm going to "Stomp" with Morgan. Sometimes I really feel fortunate for all the things I have and how lucky I am. We should all be greatful, because I know sometimes things are bad, really bad, but it could almost always be worse. Not always, almost always. And with the bad, eventually comes the good. That's all for now.
I am currently Awestruck
I am listening to the clock ticking