My Dream Last Night
01/08/2003 05:21 p.m.
I had a strange dream last night. It was about G. I don't know what brought this dream about. It could have been since I worked with him last night. In my dream I remember sitting on a bench...like a picnic table bench. I was talking to a bunch of people or listening to a bunch of people talk. A few people I work with...maybe people I go to school with. I remember that G walked over to the area where we were sitting. He stood about two feet away from where I was sitting. One of the girls sitting there (maybe H)...started talking about how bad G treated me and stuff...(He didn't really treat me badly... I don't know) She was pointing out specifics that I supposedly had told her. The whole time she was talking, G was inching closer to me... His leg was up against my thigh when the girl asked G for some kind of explanation. He took my hand and pulled me up and began walking away pulling me along. "I'd rather just explain it to Mel" he told her. He pulled me over to another table and I sat down. I felt bad about what the girl said... that she pointed out things she had no right to say...and I didn't want G to think that I told her all of this. He knelt down in front of me and said "Mel, that's all you have to do is tell me that you are in love with me...and I am yours." Then he leaned in and kissed me. I remember thinking 'Why now? After being hopelessly in love with him for four years... and NOW he wants to be with me...when I am happy with T? ' And then I remember thinking 'How will I tell T? He doesnt deserve this.' It was messed up...because it was like I wanted to be with G, but I didn't want to hurt T. And G actually showed interest...for the second time in four years... It felt good. I have strange dreams.

Well like I said... I worked with him last night. It felt good to work with him...for the last time...ever... Also kind of sad... Its like the G era is over now... for good. He wore cologne again last night...He started wearing it again since I pointed out that he wasn't wearing it anymore. Last night was also the first night that I actually came out and told him that I had a boyfriend. I know that he knew...from other people...but I never came out and said it (it was never brought up...so I never mentioned it). But last night he asked me what I did for New Years and I told him that I went to New Jersey. He was like..."What's in New Jersey?" I told him "My boyfriend...he lives out there." And then I walked away and continued taking drive-thru orders... It was awkward for a few minutes, but we got along great after that... Weird huh?
I am currently Cheerful
I am listening to Mr Big "I'm The One Who Wants to Be With You"