Does anyone read these things?
10/01/2002 09:19 p.m.

This is so annoying... I want to write something yet everything I type really doesn't make sense. It's like a dead end street... the thought starts and then just in the middle of nowhere it stops and then I don't know what else to write. I'm so bored out of my mind right now cause I'm sitting in a computer room with nothing to do. Not even the usual games I play online are keeping my attention. I'm just sick of the same routine over and over again... school, work, home... school, work, home... school, home work... I just want to get and do something right now, but I know as soon as I get home, I'm going to go up to my room where I'm extremely comfortable and only go downstairs to feed.

I often look on poems here and then look at mine and feel vastly inferior. I often feel like everything I've written has been written before (with just different words) along with the idea that my poems are face value to me. Whatever I write is what I mean. I never quite got the whole thing with having a hidden meaning in a story or poem. If you feel a certain way, then you should just come right out and say it. Why beat around the bush? it just wastes time, and often causes miscommunication.

I want to write so much but as I think about writing it, it all seems so silly or redundent. Even here I can't write what I really feel, or want to say, due to the fact that some of my friends are also on here. So no matter where I go in life, whether on my own or on the internet, I'm always censored. If you wonder how I can be censored on my own, I'll tell you. I censor myself. Another reason why I can't write everything that I would want to on here.

Okay, enough of my whining and complaining... Just 45 minutes to go...