It's been a while...
09/30/2002 03:31 p.m.

I haven't had the time... no... I haven't made the time to come back to visit for a while.  Wow... when did the site become so different?  Hmmmm... I think I like it better this way...  Very nice.  Now I had better get busy putting my stuff together and loading up here.  I'm so distracted by every little thing.  And off I go on one tangent after another.  Motto of my life:  Start everything; Finish nothing.  But I don't mind so much anymore.  Really.  I used to be a control freak about getting things done.  I used to stress.  I used to make myself sick with  worry.  But Arizona has been good for me.  I drive past the lonely cactus down the street, stare blissfully into the sunrise and sunset capping the mountains, climb the red rock canyon trails, watch every star appear one by one, kick up the dust with my dirty hot bare feet, and bathe in the sparkle of the lake by the house.  I have found some peace here.  I needed some peace.  I'll confess that I was raised a Florida beach girl and I miss the shore, the ocean, the sea life -- my heart and home is the water.  But maybe this is just what I needed for now.  Arizona sun.  Perfect blue skies every day.  But now that I have found this peaceful place, I'm also finding that I miss certain things.  I miss certain people.  That's new.  I've always moved on from one place to another.  You learn not to get too attached to anyone.  So you don't.  You eventually cut your ties and move on without looking back.  I'm used to that.  I know what it is to do that.  I don't understand so much this feeling of "missing."  And it hurts a little.  It makes me feel a little empty inside.  So, I go and reflect on this environment that surrounds me.  I spend even more time in peaceful contemplation and reflection.  And you know what?  It just makes me miss them more.  But in the meantime, until I see them again, hey, I've got a great view...