the shooting
12/14/2012 06:39 p.m.
Watching the news right now and I am sickened, disgusted, and saddened by these tragic events. People wonder why I’m so cynical and pessimistic when it comes to life… THIS is why. The world is a fucked up place. It’s a goddamn hopeless place. Going through my news feed I see the same thing over and over: “pray for the victims and their families”. Pray? PRAY. Are you fucking kidding me? How can anyone believe in a god when things like this happen. No benevolent god would allow the senseless massacre of innocent children. And if there is a god then (s)he is crueler beyond our imagination. This is no part of some greater plan. No greater good can come of this.
I am currently Helpless

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unconditional
12/12/2012 04:25 a.m.
I almost hate how much I love you. So unquestioning and unwavering. I think I love you because you're the only person that makes me feel, good or bad. Even the pain is better than the total indifference I feel towards anything or anyone else. The lows are hell, but the highs, oh the highs.
I am currently Empty
I am listening to the national

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existential crisis
12/01/2012 09:30 p.m.
Nothing I do seems to have any real purpose or significance. Why should I shower? Why should I write that paper? Why should I do anything at all? What’s the point of going from school to work to a nursing home to a 6 foot hole in the ground? I need someone to give me a reason or meaning or anything at all to convince me that this daily tired old routine is worth it. My life thus far has been one long existential crisis.
I am currently Apathetic
I am listening to Ryan Adams

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pastimes
11/24/2012 05:41 a.m.
I love people watching. I can't help but wonder where they've been or where they're going. I want to know their paralyzing fears and wildest dreams. I want to know what keeps them up at night and if they have someone to tell them that it’s okay to close their eyes. I wish I could feel their deepest pain and highest delight. I want to step in their shoes and wear out the soles.
I am currently Sympathetic
I am listening to first aid kit

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finally
09/30/2012 12:30 a.m.
A friend once asked me what I thought dying was like. I thought for a moment, looking around at the drunken sea of college kids. It's amazing how alone you can feel in a crowd of people. "I think it's like when you're tired and all you can think about is how you can't wait to finally go to bed. You just lay your head on the pillow and sigh, 'finally'."
I am currently Apathetic

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