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The Journal of Matthew Sharp

me neither
12/11/2018 08:17 p.m.
you dont so i wont
i cant trip im no longer equipped to take that trip ive flipped over too many times for you to see the core there's no more to me than the presence of a peasant king that sings for stones and keeps his poeple lovingly together im good but i can do better never ending comprehending not to mention comprehension yeah i understand i can see and still not know ive continued to grow but clashin with passion.

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11/05/2014 04:44 a.m.

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words go away
10/28/2014 06:07 p.m.

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nullifying pespective
08/24/2014 02:44 a.m.
Ive lost what was never found
spinning in geometry
until all shapes appeared round

I rode on the backs of colossal beast
as if they trust me
I fell off and it was no surprise
that it crushed me

I convinced myself that obviousness
is a form of instinctual knowledge
when its
probably just
another concept that got in the way
a truth emerged today
when I literally had nothing to say

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08/17/2014 03:17 a.m.
forgive yourself
forgive me
let go
love all you can
laugh and learn with me
or without me
we are going home
enjoy the view

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fun bc:)
08/16/2014 04:15 a.m.

an analogous ancient acropolis amplified and
burned beyond brazen barriers bonded by blood
cantankerous creation cauterized careless caress
distributing dynamics deemed devastatingly dire
empty emotionless effervescence egregious energy
feeling free forever for good
gentle grogginess gyrates health
hate heresy honor integrity
in innocent illiterate ignorance
just jaded
kindred kicking kinks
links lumbering limp mass
meticulously mad
nihilism never new
old omens opted out
premeditated pariah
pre-cognizant quest
quietly queued
righteously right
relinquishing reality
serene solipsism
true time undulates under
undialated vision varies
vehemently vexed
why wonder when
xenobiotic xenology
your years yawning
you zealous zot

I am listening to conquering dystopia

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say what
08/10/2014 04:05 a.m.
i can say what i want here right no judgement
i would 'do' terrible if it made someone else better
but i could do terrible well and enjoy myself
war is a state of mind of psychotic pain
and demeaning our fellow humans by enhancing their 'otherness'
to strengthen our own identity as the others that detest the other others...
is sick... we are free to kill ourselves if thats what it takes to show whoever is leftover how horrible it is to turn your back on your fellow man just because he lives in another location or his god concept is different than yours etc...
every concept attached to draws them that much further from the source.
ill shut up and turn it off and not think a single thought and automatically find myself helping others to learn to help others that arent even truly others.....
im so thankful that i appreciate the smallest big things there are and arent...
words... yeah, just words....
i am alive, and i would most likely love you

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08/06/2014 05:13 a.m.
its all i couldnt do
how could i give up on you
hoped you forget who i am
you dont know who i am now
i wanted to use the before
to dictate the now
but ide rather forget
that i even know how to admit
that i know when to quit
i want to change my skin
but it wont let me in
it knows how ive sinned

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Entire... no explanation
08/04/2014 01:44 p.m.
I've never known anything but unconditional
if i said i love you it was fearlessly unlimited
i sometimes didnt respect your fear when i threatened you with my presence
thats because ive never known love with limitations...
hours of talking felt like shoving light through a pin hole
i would mistake the phone line for a wormhole as if we where there together
its all somewhat of an illusion anyway
like digging the deepest hole to show my strength
not realizing my weakness until i looked up trying to get back out
Into the empty forever without a lead line... right?
Love while you can and dont be afraid of not being loved back
it begets itself like a cycle that strengthens back and forth until its rooted in the present
any moment past or potential respected here and now
Loving you is entire
I never ask the same
thats just all i know
i cant change it
ive tried
but in the attempt i couldnt keep a straight face and would often laugh at myself:)

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Thermodynamic Happy Curiosities
06/08/2012 10:18 p.m.
In the first few seconds of awakening from a nice slumber, the very center of your eyes have already shared hundreds of particles with the room around you. At the exact moment you open the curtain and peer outside, you receive and expel more atomic data through your skin than what the eyes can bare, as your pupils quickly constrict and filter the magnitude of observable energy that mercilessly rushes into your iris. By the time you have squeezed your eyes in reaction to the outdoor lighting, it is more likely than not that you have attained a form of energy from every single thing you can see through your window: a photon from the house opposite; an electron from the leaf of the nearby tree; even the very oxygen molecules that you see that bird gulping as it glides across the sky. And after those few seconds of consciousness: you feel like going to the bathroom.

With a blurry-eyed look into the mirror, trying to deter how fit you appear as opposed to the night before, something amazing happens. As you lean forward and peer close at the reflection of your face, the very pieces of your lips that you’re trying to look at - they disappear. Many of the photons that illuminate you soar away, blistering through space, beyond the reflective glass and keep on going until they break through your bathroom wall, flying outdoors with the wind just like the bird you saw 13 seconds ago. But what about those that don’t go through the mirror?

There is only one way they can go - back at you. Hurtling at speeds faster than the human eye can detect, the photons that were on your lips - not one second ago - come crashing back and through your skin tissue, but not always where they were. In them five seconds you spend judging how good or bad the day is going to be as according to what the top 0.3 centimeters of tissue that lives on your head says about you, the brain that lies behind it fails to comprehend the thousands of living cells and particles that are constantly rearranging themselves. Parts of your lips are now your nose, them rosy cheeks are now partly with your cute little elf ears, and pieces of them very things that you're using to judge and emotionally administrate your observable representation are now at one with your hands. You are in a flux of motion, emitting and transferring energy, no matter how hard you try to be still. Forever changing, and eternally fabricating with the world around you.

So the next time you sigh in despair at however weathered you may appear to yourself in those first 20 seconds of what will be a truly profound day, just remember: every day you do what you believe to be impossible. As by the very laws that govern yourself, the earth, and even the universe, every time you wake and look out that window; you - in part - fly as free as a bird.

Enjoy the day everyone, because we're all a bunch of thermodynamic miracles!

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