Work=Hell
02/19/2008 05:25 a.m.
ahh another day of waiting tables
all this waiting is killing me, sometimes I wonder if I'll wait on others until I die, and all the afterlife will be is one big restaurant filled with the formerly rich, demanding their cocktails

I think I need a new job


I am currently Brooding
I am listening to Hot Hot Heat

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hes a memory
01/19/2008 08:28 a.m.
theres something about your bone structure that i cant quite let go of....
I am currently Nostalgic
I am listening to stars

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comehomecomehomecomehome
01/14/2008 01:55 a.m.
I couldn't watch the sunset tonight//it was hidden behind the clouds and buildings but i was content to lay in bed (in your shirt of course) and watch the shadows on my walls change as it grew steadily darker


It's my favorite time of day(everythingjusts l o w s down)

godiwish youwerehere
I am currently Quiet
I am listening to stars

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hmmmmmm
01/09/2008 04:17 a.m.
ahh its so good to see those little green arrows again
i havent written in so long, i dont even feel like me anymore
maybe its the rain...........


oh well
I am currently Scattered
I am listening to Stars

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Theres Nothing Artistic About Sucide (R.I.P. Scott)
08/10/2007 06:52 p.m.
what do you sau when someone you grew up with-someone you saw nearly every weekday for years and years-takes their own life?
I am at a loss for words and a loss for feeling and i want to runaroundscreamingandlayinbedalldayandidrovefromlafayettebecauseididntwanttobethereandidontwanttobehere(breathe)

let me start over

there is so much good in the world and so many people love you and you are such a beautiful person so why?

why would you leave us all here?

whenever we would speak ( and i know it was few a far between these days and im sorry) you would ask me how my day was..so here was my day today:

I drove home from lafayette where i had spent the nght with ashley (she told me about the people stealing your rocks...i thought it was funny too). i drove home and just couldnt find anything to listen to. it was a relief tobe home. i went to my room and pulled down my box of pictures and i looked at them all and took out all the ones of you and i swear i looked at them for hours. then i flipped through the rest and searched for you in the crowds and in the backgrounds and i thought it strange how often you were there.

its even stranger than you wont be ever again.

but dont worry we wont forget.
i wont forget that i used to call you duck
or that you used to fall asleep in french all the time.

and im sorry
im sorry for crying and im sorry for being angry at you but i am. you left us. you fucking gave up.
im just sorry.

there is so much beauty in the world and i wish you could see you. because its raining while the suns out and i know you would have appreciated it too.

(oh and by the way we finally made up. i know youd be happy to know that there is a little more love in the world).

everyone loved you. and when the church is packed tomorrow ill wear fishnets and try not to cry because i know thats what you would like best.

i love you.
I am currently Sad
I am listening to HIM

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please dont
08/07/2007 06:36 a.m.
the truth is even when i told you to never talk to me again i was lying. even after sent the message i wanted you to respond like old times. i wanted you to fight to keep me...to never let me go away angry. if this was last year we'd be making up by now. but i have to remember this is not last year and im better off now away from you. but god how memories of those damn brown-green eyes can makes me forget every fight.


i wish i'd never loved you.
I am currently Frustrated
I am listening to 36 crazyfiss

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Christmas in July
08/04/2007 05:26 a.m.
Strange how a summer day in south Louisiana can feel so cold (99 degrees, like hell it is)).

come home
I am currently Depressed
I am listening to A Change of Pace

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i hate hy(ou)pocrites
08/03/2007 08:06 p.m.
the las time we spoke (over mayspace of course) i told you i didnt hate you.

well now ive changed my mind.

i think i hate you more now than i ever have before because for months i stayed faithful to you, when you werent even mine. you asked me to wait and i did....

i would have waited forever...
but that would have been fucking stupid and thank you for making me see what a hypocrite you are.

now i never want to see your face again and i dont reach for you in sleep anymore because honey you arent worth the effort. (im starting to wonder if you ever were..)

i want to tear you apart with words and i want you to feel the loss deep in the pit of the stomach and behind your eyeslids.

so fuck you and goodbye, once the anger fades ill forget youre name
(i left all the pictures of you and all your tshirts and all your false words at my old apartment with other assorted trash...who knew moving could be so liberating?))


I am currently Violent
I am listening to a change of pace

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Oh god the memories
07/28/2007 06:54 a.m.
I thought tonight about the way you used to need me. Your green-brown eyes filled with tears that reflected the glowing numbers on the clock in your truck. 11:18 PM and you needed me more than i ever thought possible. But now i know how you feel...feel better.
I am currently Bummed
I am listening to the shins

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