eyelash attack.
02/21/2007 01:25 a.m.
my cat claws at my eyes because he loves my eyelashes.

he thinks that blinking is this game i play with him.

i hit him and he just keeps on.

sometimes, he hides behind the curtains for either me or lenore, my older feline daughter, to walk by. he jumps out and attacks our feet.

i keep him really close because his purring soothes me.
I am currently Romantic
I am listening to yes no yes no yes no...maybe

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do you know anyone named hadley?
01/19/2007 11:43 p.m.
i've a story that i'm working on but...(one of my cats lost himself in a box he was exploring and just found his way out. is it wrong that i didn't try to rescue him? is it very darwinian of me? is that even a crime? obv, i mean, outside of the bible belt.)

on friday, i think to myself that i'm exhausted and there's nothing more that i'd like than if my soul did yoga for me and allowed my body to rest on the sofa drinking the beer that was in the fridge last night before my best friend came over. i think of the songless musical that has been my this week and my every week before that and i wonder when i'll get picked up for a broadway run and whether or not i'll be more popular than that ill-fated american rosie o'donnell-helmed boy george musical.

it's moments like these when i want nothing more than a blanket and a john cassavettes movie on tv so i can call my john cassavettes-clone friend and tell him all about the marvelousness of doing absolutely nothing and feeling fulfilled and comfortable.

i resolve (as i always do) that i will make myself burritos and that i will take a shower and--gosh darnit!--if so inspired, i'll go dancing and dance in the streets like mick jagger and david bowie or go dancing with myself like billy idol or be a dancing queen like abba or do the safety dance like the men in hats or celebrate a wang chung dancehall day or yell at the top of my lungs like a whitney houston, "i wanna dance with somebody!" even if no one dances with me.
I am currently Dorky
I am listening to a talking head and a sour foot.

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writing about the things i know.
01/14/2007 04:24 p.m.
i think of stories on a constant basis.



the other night, i thought of a great one. i was so proud that i started writing. i stopped when i realized that i was re-writing thomas pychon's "the crying of lot 49" except without the intrigue. i'd re-write susan minot's "sparks," since she stole it from my life. however, it wouldn't be fair. i could come up with something better. i could if i try.
I am currently Friendly
I am listening to whatever the song that ends "the upside of anger" is.

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"i see no sign of fortress, i see no sign of fortress"
01/14/2007 12:52 a.m.
i spent the entire day waiting for my friend to get here so we could go shopping for some houseplants for me and the cats. she never came even after she never came. she's mad at me for thinking positive in her direction. (i can be offensively controlling when thinking positive at people.) then, i spent hours reorganizing my books and adding to their appeal by spreading them to further shelves in the house and by laying some on their backs and layering, layering, layering like paperback sweater vests under sweater sets and jackets. i find they feel very "autumn" now. now, i'm stepping out for ciggies to go with the booze in the fridge that's just for me on this lovely evening. and, if i feel like it, i'm going dancing.
I am currently Peachy
I am listening to pinback "summer in abbadon"

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deviant septum and that issue.
12/17/2006 07:24 p.m.
no one's asked me what i want to do for a very long time. it seems that i'm always skating on someone else's ice. in doing so, i get bored and just walk off. everyone thinks that's me being antisocial or selfish. really, i just want to do what i want to do for once. i mention things, no one remembers. if they do remember, they don't particularly care. whenever i call someone with an idea, they've already got ideas for plans. they don't have actual plans. the mere notion of another plan--one that has nothing whatsoever to do with me and what i might want--is enough to make any consideration of my plans pointless. i don't know.


it's hard to wake up one day with things you want to do and not do them. everyday i wake up and tell myself that i'll have to go it alone, but i get lazy and i don't. i do something else, something to kill the time that i would've spent doing what it is i really wanted to do.


when do i wake up and make it the day that i'll act on my own accord?
I am currently Disillusioned
I am listening to movie movie movie

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malfunction. malfunction, deviated septum.
12/13/2006 01:43 p.m.
i have the sum total usage of one nostril though i have two nostrils. this is because i have a really wicked deviated septum that makes things like, say, breathing quite the task. plus, i'm a smoker which i hear doesn't help.

my ears have been popping and clogged since saturday night at about 11pm when a truck stopped next to me at the light off the exit by the design district. (we were on our way to art basel and a club that we left less than an hour after paying $10 each to get in). according to the nurse, i don't have an ear infection. at least, not yet. i may be the only person you know who's gotten an ear infection in the twenties. as that's the case, i can never be too sure.

now, i'm stuck at work with some nasal decongestant that may cause drowsiness. it is barely 8:45 am and i have to stay until 6pm. (this is the part where i tell you that i envy the rich or unemployed. this is also the part where i tell you that i hate you for your full breathing capacity via your nasal canals.)

i ought to pay someone to break my nose.
I am currently Detached
I am listening to letters swirling in the air above me.

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