{ pathetic.org }
 

The Journal of Cristy M.

Memoirette, le Froo
10/08/2009 12:11 a.m.
http://memoirette.blogspot.com/

memoir-ette: (n.) bits and pieces of fictional/non-fictional autobiography as it either happens or doesn't..no one can be too sure.

Comments (0)


Valentines' Day and VD.
02/14/2009 06:53 p.m.
For Valentines' Day, I got a hair cut. I got it for me. Also, my nail polish is chipping from over-wear and over-use and it's called Valentine. One of my students keeps asking me how old I am and he's hitting on me. I tell him I'm 35, but I'm lying. Now he's asking if I'm married and have kids or want them. I'm not sure what to say, but I keep shaking my head at him. Sometimes, I nod. Then, he asks why I smile so much and he adds "Cause you like me?" and I answer "No." That's probably the first thing I've said to him in over an hour. He's 20, but he's a bag of bricks for all he's worth.

...And this is my Valentines' Day. I've got a boyfriend with bad karma, according to him (though if he really knew how bad it was, he'd probably throw me out of a moving car), and teenagers that look eerily like my ex-boyfriend making the moves on me at work. All's I can say is that I've done something unethical (lied) to get out of work before 3:30 though I won't be getting out any sooner.

For all the sleep I got last night, you'd think I'd be better rested, but I'm not.

At least I've got a keen haircut.
I am currently Bleh
I am listening to "What do you use on your clothes?" (Teacher-to-student line)

Comments (0)


Fashionable Pens in Excess (random thoughts on Tuesday)
02/03/2009 05:33 p.m.
The groundhog, Phil, saw his shadow. I missed it, but, one day, I'll see it. I'll go and I'll make my way through the crowd with my paper-cup o' hot cocoa and make friends with my Pennsylvanian bretheren though I am not myself Pennsylvanian (but Daddy non-DNA and Sarah Mae are...I could always pass by for a visit).

I have a hideous phone conference that I've got to sit through and I have no battery left in my MP3 player. Then, I have a school visit to attend with a teacher and a mom and then my day continues with plenty of battering bullets of child-like glee.

Then, I have the rest of the day to work on the latest poem that I'll probably never polish. But, then, some hideous things can be beautiful, too.
I am currently Indifferent
I am listening to Chatter.

Comments (0)


Return to pathetic.
01/25/2009 04:30 p.m.
It's a double-entendre. My spelling has gotten worse and worse since my days in the spelling bees and it's somewhat distressing. I think I come to pathetic when I find myself at cross-roads. I'm in the midst of so many things and, in all of them, there is this unwavering ambition to move foward and that is what I've done. Now, all I need is a literary agent for my novel and the spell check on my Word docs tools. If Google is taking over the universe, I am all fine about it. Their motto is "Don't be evil" and I don't think I am.

But I am...about to re-be single, and it is a horrible, ridiculous choice that I have to make. Am I cruel?
I am currently Detached
I am listening to "Unsung" by Helmet

Comments (2)


Per Jonsson and "Shake Some Action"
12/06/2007 05:07 p.m.
band name: Per Jonsson (oh, yea.)*
album title: Shake Some Action (which is some other band's fifth album, by the way, so i'd release it as "Shake Some Action, Redux" a debut album)

track list:
1. "Mendota Road Bridge"
2. "Ayres (the sports company)"
3. "Spalona, Klodzko County"
4. "Chrysasura"
5. "[Sir] Warington Wilkinson Smyth"
6. "Senate Report 93-549"
7. "Kirtland, Ohio"
8. "Phossy Jaw"
9. "John-Paul Langbroek"
10. "Car (disambiguation)"
11. "Splitting Image" (note: the comic book by Don Simpson)
12. "Santa Clara (Caltrain/ACE station)"

* This is the baby of Chris Romano's recent blog thread in the general forums. It is my duty to fulfill the self-imposed obligation of translating this into an album of poetic-ditties and, at some level, really see this come to fruition.
I am currently Amazed
I am listening to "america's next top model" rerun on TV

Comments (0)


i've been listening/ you've, too.
12/05/2007 07:17 p.m.
1. david bowie, "man who sold the world."
2. the shins, "girl inform me."
3. air, "biological."
4. modest mouse, "gravity rides everything."
5. medeski, martin, and wood, "last chance to dance trance (perhaps)"
6. david bowie, "heroes."
7. the smiths, "this charming man."
8. the supremes (with the temptations), "i'm gonna make you love me."
9. al green, "here i am (come and take me)."
10. gang of four, "natural's not in it."
11. architecture in helsinki, "in case we die."
12. belle & sebastian, "a summer wasting."
13. the shins, "phantom limb."
14. the smiths, "hand in glove."
15. explosions in the sky, "welcome, ghosts."
16. bright eyes, "take it easy."
17. mogwai, "auto rock."
18. fischerspooner, "happy."
19. the wire, "the 15th."

and, 20? well, see. now, i play with toys.
20. the go! team, "panther dash" (hell yea."
I am currently Cool
I am listening to see above.

Comments (0)


things i'm privy to.
12/04/2007 06:18 p.m.
i am a part of a secret conspiracy to pepper the world with glitter and glow-worms. on the drive to work, i saw a beat-up old station wagon with four old matresses in the trunk and six old matresses tied to the roof. on my short expressway trek, i saw a mack truck towing a porta-potty with the words "my sex box" graffiti-tagged on the back beside a smiling face. i'm expecting an order of toys. i love getting toys and arranging them and playing with them, even and especially since they're not for me. later today, i'm going to read "johnny tremaine" although i have no particular inclination to do so other than to teach it to a student. before that, most likely, i will teach another one of my students "the wonderful wizard of oz" which i read recently and in less than a day's sit at the bookstore/bistro. i'm all alone in the office and, any minute now, i'm going to start dancing around in my boots and jean skirt and party like i mean it because i deserve it. if tonight i make it to ladies' night, i'll feign oblivious to all the chatter-boxes and laugh at any and everything that i pretend i don't hear.
I am currently Lovely
I am listening to "tiny paintings" by architecture in helsinki

Comments (0)


oh, those tender mercies.
12/02/2007 10:18 p.m.
i don't know who or what i am in love with, but i am most certainly in love.

i think.

i suppose to a certainty.

so, perhaps, i'm not too sure.

certainty is overrated. someone to love is overrated.

clearly, i have some kinks to work out.
I am currently Odd
I am listening to the talking heads.

Comments (0)


a parking lot
11/28/2007 03:53 p.m.
my tummy aches and i want to smoke a ciggie and i'm listening to some really good tunes on my desk. i think i want to take tomorrow off just because i can and i need to do stuff, besides.

the peril of being outrageous is that people notice you and that puts pressure on you. it's always like this elephant nudging at you to do something entertaining. sometimes, i wish i could just disappear into a crowd. then, i don't. it's an exercise in double-edged sword-dom. i'm always bored and i think that, generally, people are dissatisfied yet complacent with boredom and, even though they're rude, they're needy for kindness and conversation. i find that people always tell me that they don't know how to "just talk" to people. it's not really that hard. i'm a better "just talk"-er than a friend, i think. i'm good for cocktail parties. i'm that icebreak-girl. it's odd. i don't even really like people all that much when i get to know them. maybe we shouldn't get to know any body anymore. maybe we can all be content with not-knowing people and talking to them because of it rather than despite it. i want to be a goddess of not-knowing and talking. that's my new aspiration.

i was going to be a cat burglar, but i've changed my mind. goddess is way better. poetry is, clearly, not working out for me.
I am currently Perfect
I am listening to "whole wide world" by wreckless eric

Comments (0)


i am everything i am not when i am cranky.
11/22/2007 02:26 p.m.
i can tell you this: i have forgotten how to write but i am trying desperately to remember because i have fallen back on my working out and my yoga practice and i am not meditating but i am a damn good Buddhist so i should get back to it and i also happen to be a spectacular writer, a talent which may only be paled by my talent for finding every reason to do absolutely nothing with my time. so i am back, if only for a momentary stopover whilst i recharge my poetic batteries and get that good jazz on. oh, if you haven't listened to etta james' "in the basement, pt. 1" today, well you're not alone because i haven't either but you're in a much worse state than me unless you really want to. then, and only then, in accomplishing this desire will you truly be happier than i.

i am, currently, sitting on the sofa that my boyfriend slept on while i slept in his bed upstairs last night. my boyfriend who is my ex-boyfriend of nine years ago. i.e., the first boy to ever break my heart. and i am all angry poetry and not smoking cigarettes because, apparently, that is a problem. my smoking and the stench of my smokiness is a problem though it hadn't been for years. i am constantly being chastised like a child and i am growing weary of it.

and i am growing unsatisfied and i'm not sixteen anymore so "things like this don't happen to me," i tell myself. i am in a very cerebral state over this whole thing. and last night i said that that was it, "i am going to quit smoking and i am really done with this whole thing" and now my cigarettes are gone from the table outside and i am angry and i am dying to die some more with my tar-infused lungs and my carcinogens ravishing my body. and he is chanting outside with that miraculous lakeview. and he is asking me when i have to go to my mom's house for Thanksgiving and when he has to drop me at my house so that i can drive myself around later (i am not in my own car, we are environmentally conscious) and i say "whenever, i don't care. whenever you want." because i am all red-earred and flushed-cheeks about it and my jaw is clenched and i am pecking away at the keyboard and "i will not stop," i tell myself.

then, he says, "well, never then. you'll stay with me the whole day."

i am not falling for this again.

i am going to go home to my cats and smoke a million cigarettes all at the same time. then, i will drive to my mom's house and when she asks me about him i'll say nothing to the effect of, "whatever you want. i don't care."
I am listening to probably the air-conditioning.

Comments (0)


Next 10 Entries

Return to the Library of Cristy M.

 

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2024 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)