Wow.
02/17/2002 04:09 a.m.
wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow.

and yes, i did type that all out.

second date, first kiss. awe....
in awe of myself. in awe of him.

its so eek! eek! my head's popped and glitters spouting out.

ive met a really great friend, and though theres more possibilities, i want to know this person forever, friend, lover, or enemy.

not many people strike me as being so amazing. i want knowing this person to last.
I am currently Affectionate

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a girl again
02/14/2002 01:53 p.m.
i have been so sick of being treated like a person, or like "a fellow man"... it has been the lame excuse of every person ive been in a relationship with, and then the relationship fails, partially cus im unhappy, but mostly cus they found something else to fuck and give that lame ass excuse to. but the first point is important too.

id like to for once be treated like the little girl i am. i want someone to hold my hand. i want to know that you turned your head when i walked past, or that all your friends asked about me, or your coworker made a lewd comment about me...i want you to call me, i love for you to open my door first, or for your gaw to drop cus i opened the door for you or an elderly couple, its only fair.

what happened to chivalry? the only people that really accomplished anything from the feminist movement are lazy men, and the bastards that tax us. i am tired of being treated equal, especially by the ones i take the time to make feel extra special, because they are special in my life. I shouldnt be treated fairly when every breath i take in my day is used to make everyone important around me feel just a little more special. when's someone gonna treat me like a girl?
I am currently Affectionate
I am listening to filter - one is the loneliest number.

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BDAYME
02/08/2002 06:12 a.m.
im barely tipsy. too bad. tommorrow, headache. next day tattoo, any recommendations?
I am currently Pathetic
I am listening to habib

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Happy Birthday
02/07/2002 10:38 p.m.
Im 21....and strange, i dont even feel like getting drunk right now. i feel awkward right now.

awkward and amused.
I am currently Weird
I am listening to type o negative - everything dies.

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Dumped
02/05/2002 06:54 a.m.
my love dumped me.
my mom dumped me.
steve (friend) dumped me.
scary (friend) dumped me.
work is trying to dump me.
i got dumped from my house.
but life wont dump me.

i dont make any sense after three days of no sleep.

this sux.

when's my birthday?
I am currently Paranoid
I am listening to Dragon Ash- Rappagari

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Emptiness
01/21/2002 08:52 a.m.
Our purpose for living is we have to find reasons to live.

Either i have not been putting in the effort, or i have been mistaken.
I am currently Sad
I am listening to Sainted (

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Sitting amongst what
01/21/2002 05:57 a.m.
its horrible, sitting around, watching the rest of life spin around you while you sit in grief, ache, and dissillusenment. emptiness, that swollen bruise feeling that fills you to the point that you cant eat, but starving for proper care.

i feeling this way, i just want to get past it, but i cant, i hate it when i fail, and i let my failures block my way to the other things that exist in my life.

and the anger. when im my normal self, im not one to be angry. these past months have been wasted. and i feel so angry at that.

angry that i was never loved at all
I am currently Empty

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It happened, again.
01/20/2002 08:52 p.m.
it happened again, and it hurts, bad. i put so much of myself in, and failed. god i suck. love hurts, but so does the end.
I am currently Needy

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General Surgeon's Warning on 0mi Salavea
01/17/2002 05:23 p.m.
Christ people, the two decent poems i've written in the past month or so and every one is worried that i'm gonna kill myself
I am currently Pissed Off

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In the Mail
01/14/2002 07:14 a.m.
"Good news comes in small packages".
"Good news in the mail".

I just received a very beautiful song in the mail yesterday. A few years ago, my brother and i subscribed to a small "indie" thingy, and received a couple of tapes with little "anti-alien campaign" stickers on them..the songs were cool, being like 15 and all and hearing worse from our friends garage bands, but one song on the tapes struck us to the soul...very beautiful, stirring, yet soothing enough to help montana sleep at night.

funny how art can do that to some people. The same song can make me cry, or breathe softly in the night. the same poem can cause three or four of ya'll to bang down my door with instant messages worried about my mental health, yet cause one or two people to comment of the beauty and truth of what they just read.

Ive fallen in love with only a handful of people in my life, but i have a hard drive of music, a bookshelf of written works, and a small portfolio of cheap prints of sketches, watercolors and pencilings, all art that has moved me more than the everyday people i meet. art helps to numb the mundane of this world, yet at the same time, preserves forever the simple beauty of every little thing.
I am currently Reflective
I am listening to Sainted by the Sea and Sand - InkPot Monkey

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