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The Journal of Shonda Creemer
it meant something 11/29/2010 01:36 a.m.
A couple of weeks ago, I spotted a purple beaded snowflake (about the size of a half dollar) on my living room floor. I kinda cocked my head sideways, giving it this strange look (like my Squire does to the floor when he hears some critter underneath the house) ~ then I picked it up and placed it on the edge of my coffee table.
Occasionally, I would mull over its existence as I passed by the table....often times I would actually forget it was even there until I sat down to watch a movie. I knew that it meant something. I had bought it for a reason, but had not seen it in months. It was quite a mystery to me.
Well, this past weekend....I occured to me what it was for and even how it came about to occupy my living room floor. Of course the big question was ~ WHY?
WHY this of all weeks...since it was a major anniversary of sorts.
WHY do I even still have it...having removed everything else that went with it.
WHY....just why.
Why ~ because it meant something. Not just the snowflake, but all of it. It meant something. I had me an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind moment. And that was ok.
So I sat there on the couch staring at that snowflake for at least an hour. Remembering WHY at two different times in my life I allowed myself to fall in love with this man.
That snowflake is still perched on the end of my coffee table. As I assume, it will be until I simply decide to discard it or tuck it away for safe keeping.
Until then... I am currently Calm
I am listening to my thoughts
I am currently Obsessive
I am listening to The Lizard King
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The 4's 09/09/2010 11:36 p.m.
So...I was enjoying a new CD. And...it was a really good CD. So....I sent a text to a friend suggesting he give this CD a listen to. Then...I told him I really liked song #4. And...he texted back with ~ It has been my experience that the fourth song on every CD is usually a very good one. HA!
Urm...so I did a lil research of my own and he was right. Now...I have a mix CD compromised of various fourth tracks and I lurve it.
Here be the playlist: (song and artist only)
1) Don't Let Me Fall -- Lenka
2) Love For Granted -- Pheonix
3) Criminal -- Fiona Apple
4) Fixed -- Stars
5) Running From The Cops -- Phantogram
6) The Ghost Inside -- Broken Bells
7) On The Radio -- Regina Spektor
8) Gives You Hell -- All American Rejects
9) Centrifuge -- Pomplamoose
10) Desert -- Emilie Simon
11) Imma Be -- BEP's
12) Roll On -- dntel
13) HOT HOT HOT -- The Cure
14) Add It Up -- Violent Femmes
15) Precious Things -- Tori Amos
16) London Bridge -- Fergie
*sigh* I could listen to this mix for hours on end. If you happen to make a 4 of your own...let me know. I'm always up for awesome songs! I am currently Passionate
I am listening to Pandora - I'm hopelessly addicted.
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to write like this 08/18/2010 03:10 a.m.
Momma gave me a book tonight. It's a book of love poems originally published in 1902. This copy though was printed in October 1941. It is showing age. I ran my fingers over the binding. Feeling each imperfection. The pages have yellowed. I close my eyes and inhale. It smells of many years. My thoughts rush. Wondering how many hands have touched these pages over the last 70 years. Where it has been. What it has experienced. And now...here it is with me. I turn the pages so very gently. Breathing in it's wonderment. Page 5. Page 67. Page 78. Page 110. I stop. The words I took in....left me in complete silence. If only I could write such beauty as this. The book is India's Love Lyrics by Adela Florence Nicolson written under the name Laurence Hope. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. To be the reader tonight is peace.
Second Song
How much I loved that way you had
Of smiling most, when very sad,
A smile which carried tender hints
Of delicate tints
And warbling birds,
Of sun and spring,
And yet, more than all other thing,
Of Weariness beyond all Words!
None other ever smiled that way,
None that I know,
--The essence of all Gaiety lay,
Of all mad mirth that men may know,
In that sad smile, serene and slow,
That on your lips was wont to play.
It needed many delicate lines
And subtle curves and roseate tints
To make that weary radiant smile;
It flickered, as beneath the vines
The sunshine through green shadow glints
On the pale path that lies below,
Flickered and flashed, and died away,
But the strange thoughts it woke meanwhile
Were wont to stay.
Thoughts of Strange Things you used to know
In dim, dead lives, lived long ago,
Some madly mirthful Merriment
Whose lingering light is yet unspent,
--Some unimaginable Woe,
--Your strange, sad smile forgets these not,
Though you, yourself, long since, forgot!
I am currently Perfect
I am listening to Pandora
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Odysseus Zombie has come to visit moi! 08/08/2010 06:19 p.m.
Pathetic meet Oz. Oz ~ Pathetic!
He is one cool dude!
And here be the stories of OZ...the travelin zombie.
I have him for a tad over a week, he got here Friday. If all goes well...he is set to visit 10 states and even more countries! He is super excited. And I am soooo jazzed that he got to visit me first!
I am currently Fabulous
I am listening to Pandora
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good all around 05/26/2010 02:32 a.m.
Good song
Good movie
Good Kenny
*smiles* I am currently Peachy
I am listening to Urm...THE GAMBLER!
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a day in the life of a FB convo 05/13/2010 01:59 a.m.
SC: I have allowed adaptation to enter my life in a -NEG manner. I realize that it's human nature to let others down. I'm apathetic to it all. Tuesday at 6:37pm
SC: I should be disappointed in myself, but I am not. Love hurts. Marriage does not last. Soulmates do not exist. Friendships never really are 100% true. Family turns against itself. People are cruel. Society just doesn't give a shit. Why? Because we are a stubborn, selfish, hurtful people. We care for no one but ourselves and we TAKE TAKE TAKE until all the other people are empty. Nothing left to give. And then that person who once had hope turns into the poison that it loathes. Battle over. Checkmate. Nuff said. Tuesday at 6:44pm ·
KI: Snarky! Me loves it! Tuesday at 9:10pm ·
SC: Heh! Shondy is in a mood tonight. On a more somber note...I would probably give anything for someone to prove me wrong about that. So sad. Tuesday at 9:17pm ·
AW: Shonda .... scary stuff ... scary like how accurate you are. We recently had this discussion but however I would say friendships are 100% true - the ones in that tight inner circle you hold very close, they are true friends, everyone else is a passer-by. Soul-mates do not exist but there are people both male and female that match your personality and other traits so closely its scary sometimes. As you grow, some grow with you and others will go a different direction, but that's ok - coz there is another waiting to be your friend on the other side, it's up to you how close you let them get. Cheer up Shonda - *sending hugs and love and inner peace* :) Yesterday at 1:52am ·
MF: or quite simply..some people are selfish,immature dickheads! Yesterday at 6:27am ·
SC: Amanda...I was generalizing the situation. Venting about something that had happened earlier in the day. Obviously there are exceptions to everything!
And Marie...yesh!!! What you said! HA! Yesterday at 6:28pm ·
AW: oh ok Imma up to speed now. Def big time baby. The 'no speaks' is def a grown up thing - NOT! Yesterday at 9:23pm ·
SC: I know right. It's more cowardice then anything. Yesterday at 9:29pm ·
MF: karma will come around i am sure of it....f*&@ing piece of s*$t! oh god..did i saw that outloud?..my bad :) 13 hours ago ·
**Heh...ever a dull moment on my page. Have I told you lately that I love you Facebook?** I am currently Divine
I am listening to my fingers pen my thoughts
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POTD 03/16/2010 03:20 a.m.
Humbled once again...I love this place.
As I was reading back over her this evening, I remembered the moments she was being made as if they were yesterday. I remembered why it was I chose the words I did and why I placed them in those lines.
And I was drawn tight into myself as I realized....the person who wrote that was such a different being then she is now.
And yet, remembering...I am one in the same.
I am currently Perfect
I am listening to you
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contented sigh 02/18/2010 03:38 a.m.
it feels good to be back I am currently Blessed
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Zombieland 10/03/2009 06:19 p.m.
It had it's moments. Nothing spectacular....but I am glad I went to see it. I went to the midnight showing when I knew all of the weirdos and freaky ones would come out to play. I fit in just fine. Seems the zombies of today are evolving. These particular ones reminded me of 28 Weeks Later. Frantic and very blood purging. I don't do change well. Why you gotta change the idea of zombies? Anyway. We all clapped when it was over. A good clap. Bravo clap if you may.
I am currently Nostalgic
I am listening to my neighbor's lawnmower
