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The Journal of Emily Davidson

safe distance
03/15/2010 05:04 a.m.
i'd like to
sit across the table
from you
a safe distance between us
watching you
watch me
over the rim of your glasses

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escapist
02/20/2010 12:00 a.m.
keep running

run all night

i won't chase you

but your doubts

your fear, your worries

they will

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the whole you
01/14/2010 03:40 a.m.
invincible
flawless
astonishing
man

what can't you do?

sharp-witted
quick-thinking
intelligent
being

have you always been so flawless?

irresistible
sensual
passionate
creature

where did you learn the map of my desires?

to the onlookers
you may seem perfect

i suppose i am the lucky one
for knowing the whole you

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hungry
01/02/2010 04:12 a.m.
i am trying to figure out why i want
so much
this abstract title
this fantastical union
that our culture has glorified
and that i have been brainwashed
to see as necessity
as the only way to truly
devote yourself
to someone

why do i yearn so much
for something that would not
change a thing
about me or him
or how we love each other

our love stands on its own
no rings or ceremonies or white dress
so i demand to know
who has taken over my mind and made me so
hungry for a marriage

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sickens and scares
12/24/2009 04:14 a.m.
your popularity sickens me,
my solitude scares me.

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his smile
11/12/2009 12:24 a.m.
a man is only
as attractive
as his smile
and yours, darling
is electric

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cannot write a poem
10/25/2009 12:40 p.m.
i am so full of emotion that i
simply cannot write a poem.
i have no clear thought to express,
no emotions that i can codify
into a little filing folder labeled
"anger," "frustration,"
"jealousy," "regret,"
or "sadness."
perhaps all of the above.
i don't like to make to mistakes,
but i suppose it is inevitable that i am
punished for keeping a lid on
the hurt that simmered within me.
every day i felt its steam
filling my lungs, but i,
because i am so strong and so wise,
trapped it in there until
i choked.

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verbalize
10/06/2009 03:16 a.m.
to verbalize
is to make something
that was once safe
in the mind
a reality

this can be a good
or very bad
thing

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trying
09/26/2009 06:05 a.m.
sick of trying

i shouldn't have to

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forgive him
09/10/2009 10:14 p.m.
i will never forgive him
for leaving

because during his departure
i was too young
and too accepting
of whatever reality
was happening at the moment

but now i can see
just what exactly
he did to us
and as much as i love him
i will never forgive him

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