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The Journal of Shayla R Cakes

Hey wow
04/02/2004 12:12 p.m.
I'm going on my 4th year here at pathetic.org. 2nd year under this alias but my 4th year regardless. wow!

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sippin on gin and juice
11/16/2003 09:53 p.m.
snoop doggy dogg rules....and its almost the holiday season. unrelated? i think so.
I am currently Lazy
I am listening to commercials

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its a slow change.
03/30/2003 08:17 p.m.

I've learned that my poetry stems from my feelings.

 

Right now I'm feeling like shit.

 

I'd give up writing if it brought me happiness.


I am currently Depressed
I am listening to Jimmie's Chicken Shack

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blargh
03/11/2003 02:39 a.m.
everything is fuck.
I am currently Depressed
I am listening to van halen

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AAAAA
01/18/2003 03:37 p.m.
My neck hurts but my heart doesnt hurt so I guess I'd rather have my neck hurt than my heart, my heart's so done with this hurt business. *yay tor*

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ouch
01/16/2003 02:55 a.m.
my leg is feeling the wrath of hurt.

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Remember I'll Always Love you
01/13/2003 03:51 a.m.
God, I'm so in love...so so in love. You know...you know that storybook fantasy where you have your high school sweetheart and they end up being your forever sweetheart? Yeah, and you know that saying "the third time's a charm?" Well this is high school sweetheart #3, but #1 of my heart and I just feel like this is it. I know I've said this before but I've never felt this before. Yeah, I loved one, maybe two of the other two but it wasn't true, pure romance love, it was puppy love if anything. Maybe a touch stronger with James, but that's a whole different scenario in itself. This is LOVE. This is a feeling that so completely surpasses any emotion I ever imagine one could have. I didn't even know that feelings could be this strong. If it gets too much stronger I think parts of my body are going to randomly explode -- starting with my nose. There aren't any adjectives to describe the way I feel about Tory. The basic extent I can give you is a hand motion and a few facial expressions but no actual words. If you want to see them, ask me and I'll show you. I say this every time Tory and I spend half a moment together, but I've never felt so close to anyone in my life. I'm not intimidated by him. I'm not scared of him in the slightest. I don't hold him up on a pedestal either because he's not this godlike figure with hair blowing in the wind...he's just my Tory, and I couldn't ask for anything better than him just being my Tory. And the way we both see it, that's not going to change. If I can keep him forever and ever I couldn't be happier. This love that I feel is just the most powerful, amazing thing ever in the history of feelings. And yes that does include the feeling of warm apple pie, the perfect temperature swimming pool, a kitty cat licking your hand, or the best goddamn orgasm in the world. This is LOVE. The most sincere love I have ever had in my life -- both giving and recieving. And the way I'm feeling at this exact moment, that's not going to go away. And I don't want any lip from you relationship-cynics because this is the most amazing feeling in the world.
I am currently Surreal
I am listening to No Quarter - Tool

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vrrrroom
01/03/2003 08:15 p.m.
there goes 2002. its 2003 and i'm damn terrified *hold me.*

i just totally rekindled an old friendship with a member of pathetic. ms. alaine reiter. i haven't seen her since i ran into her at target like a year ago and we did a lot of catching up!! exchanged phonenumbers and what not.

my love is hoppin a bus thisaway so i haveto get dressed. *kisses to all
I am currently Nerdy
I am listening to court tv. bastards gonna diiiie

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Hmph.
12/11/2002 09:01 p.m.
Well, It seems that I have lost my poetic flava. Why? I have no desire to write any kind of poetry, and it's somewhat saddening because I'm feeling so many things and I just don't want to write about any of it. Maybe I'm just in a funk but I don'tknow....who knows....no one ever knows.
I am currently Fabulous
I am listening to clicking of keyboards

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I absolutely completely wish I were gone far far away.
11/10/2002 02:41 a.m.
I've never been on such an emotional low...Its as though everything that could be good in my life held a conference and decided that they would no longer be. And thats frustrating. It could be that just one or two things are going bad but no, instead it's everything. I don't remember the last time something good happened...it's just terrible. Absolutely terrible. What's a little bean to do? I want sdesperately to stick my head in an oven and end it all because i've been trying far too hard an dfor far too long to better the situation. I can't give anymore if no one else is going to give either. And I shoudln't have to. And I shouldn't have to hold myself to standards that everyone else wants from me, but I do. Why? Because I don't know how to put myself first, and I suppose I never will. And Ii suppose I don't really care so much...probably because I care too much. I care so desperately about everyone that it completely ruins my life. .. but thats how i was raised... to care. to love and to care.
and that's what i'm doing.

but alas it shows that I am completly imcapable of doing anything right. anything at all.

and its a terrible injustice to my soul
I am currently Depressed
I am listening to my own muted dreams

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