rambling
05/20/2004 08:41 p.m.

Don’t you know I would shed myself for you

Convert these eyes to violet gray like the color of a storm

Disguise my heart with a stronger mask and colder blood

I’d slough this skin and peel away the doubt that covers me

Until all that’s left is the sense of your calloused hand in mine

I’d no longer wear this hat my sentimental grandpa gave me

And I’d hide my intelligence and insight with a vacant smile

I’d trade my mother’s pearls for some stainless steel chains

Wrap myself in black and blue tattoos and billowing smoke

Scream vulgarities in a tantrum that will rattle the walls

See how this works – you’ve already made me a liar


I am currently Disillusioned
I am listening to my own steady breathing

Comments (2)

new fun
12/02/2003 05:01 p.m.
I've met some interesting people on this site and have been inspired and in awe of them. I was introduced to this site by one of my students (how cool is that?!), and I'm so glad. I don't get a lot of traffic... if you're reading this, I'm shocked and amazed. But I do get rare moments of being in contact with truly gifted writers who have enriched my life without even knowing it. Praises to the poets who speak the words that I cannot reach.
I am currently Divine
I am listening to the hum of my computer

Comments (0)

back again
10/16/2003 03:24 p.m.
I was looking for a poem I posted here... But I can't find it. Maybe, like so many others, it's been deleted... dismissed... destroyed. But now I want it back! Grrrr. I'd like to say that a lesson's been learned here, but I'd be a liar. So, what to do? Move on. Keep moving on. Easier said that done, isn't it?
I am currently Bothered
I am listening to the voices in my head ;-)

Comments (0)

Thanks...
05/10/2003 05:40 p.m.
My folder problem is resolved. Thank you so much to the party responsible for the repair.
I am currently Happy
I am listening to the washing machine

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ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!
04/28/2003 08:22 p.m.
I LOST MY LIBRARY!

I was trying to add a new folder and I accidentally mislabeled or something -- anyway, I have two default base folders now named "Library" and neither of them show up on my main page! Where is my work? I sent an email to Gavin and posted on the site's forum, but no word yet. Anyone reading this, if you can help, PLEASE send me a message. I am an idiot who composed several new works directly in the site recently and did not save a copy anywhere else... yeah, I know. I figured I'd come back and save it later. HAHA! The joke's on me.

I am a bear of very little brain. (The Tao of Pooh)



I am currently Pissed Off
I am listening to Counting Crows

Comments (0)

Adam Duritz
04/20/2003 05:02 a.m.
I do believe that Counting Crows is the best band ever. It must be said. If you don't have their music, run right now and get it! Start with August and Everything After and Hard Candy... then, if you're so inclined, pick up the rest of their tunes. They amaze me constantly. That's all.
I am currently Awestruck
I am listening to Duh...

Comments (0)

Long time, no write
02/28/2003 07:30 p.m.
I've been away entirely too long. Somehow it happens that the days slip through my hands so quickly that I seem to barely have enough time to even make a "to do" list, much less actually DO anything I put on it. Enough complaining.

I do have some lighter news. I have met some quite enjoyable people -- I like to call them the three muskateers in my head, not that I really needed to say that "out loud." But they are the three people I've met here in the desert that I truly love spending time with. They make me laugh, and without realizing it, they also make me pensive. I start thinking about where I am in life. Is it right? Am I happy? What do I want? Why aren't I doing that? What am I waiting for? What do I believe? Where do I want to be? Who do I love? And then, of course, I have a tangled mess, and I just need some cool friends to take me out and make me laugh some more! They are good for me. And I'm glad that I met them.

It occured to me that all of my handwritten journals are no more. I end up ripping them to shreds or getting rid of them somehow. 20 years of childhood tangents and teenage angst -- all gone. Why do I do that? I don't have an answer. But I am going to try to stop. Yeah, here I go... that's going on my "to do" list...
I am currently Fine
I am listening to Cowboy Junkies

Comments (0)

A little less
10/28/2002 04:02 p.m.
I want a little less complication... fewer boundaries... a reduction in the amount of time I spend trying to figure everything out. I want a little more peace.

Simplicity. Oh, Thoreau had it right! To be involved for hours in the battle of ants... just because you can. To chase a laughing loon around Walden. To build my own refuge from the world. To suck the marrow out of life and make it my nourishment. To say yes to civil disobedience without worry over consequence. To fully believe in the rightness of my choices. To contemplate. And then, eventually, to embark on a new path. Always returning in cyclic fashion to my renewal spring - Simplicity.


I am currently Calm
I am listening to Sweet Silence

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Waiting for the day
10/17/2002 02:22 a.m.
I'm just waiting for the day...
What day would that be?
The one where my pockets are not empty,
The one where my heart cannot be contained,
The one where I make my mark,
The one where I can connect with my soul mate,
The one where I laugh more than I cry,
The one where I write without self-editing,
The one where you don't cross my mind,
The one where I know the right path,
The one where contenment is my middle name,
The one where I live without limits of the world,
The one where I sit in peaceful contemplation,
The one where time is something I don't have to consider,
The one where silence reigns supreme,
The one ...
The one I cannot possibly imagine...
Yes, that's the one.
I am currently Tired
I am listening to Counting Crows on Radio Free Virgin

Comments (0)

It's been a while...
09/30/2002 03:31 p.m.

I haven't had the time... no... I haven't made the time to come back to visit for a while.  Wow... when did the site become so different?  Hmmmm... I think I like it better this way...  Very nice.  Now I had better get busy putting my stuff together and loading up here.  I'm so distracted by every little thing.  And off I go on one tangent after another.  Motto of my life:  Start everything; Finish nothing.  But I don't mind so much anymore.  Really.  I used to be a control freak about getting things done.  I used to stress.  I used to make myself sick with  worry.  But Arizona has been good for me.  I drive past the lonely cactus down the street, stare blissfully into the sunrise and sunset capping the mountains, climb the red rock canyon trails, watch every star appear one by one, kick up the dust with my dirty hot bare feet, and bathe in the sparkle of the lake by the house.  I have found some peace here.  I needed some peace.  I'll confess that I was raised a Florida beach girl and I miss the shore, the ocean, the sea life -- my heart and home is the water.  But maybe this is just what I needed for now.  Arizona sun.  Perfect blue skies every day.  But now that I have found this peaceful place, I'm also finding that I miss certain things.  I miss certain people.  That's new.  I've always moved on from one place to another.  You learn not to get too attached to anyone.  So you don't.  You eventually cut your ties and move on without looking back.  I'm used to that.  I know what it is to do that.  I don't understand so much this feeling of "missing."  And it hurts a little.  It makes me feel a little empty inside.  So, I go and reflect on this environment that surrounds me.  I spend even more time in peaceful contemplation and reflection.  And you know what?  It just makes me miss them more.  But in the meantime, until I see them again, hey, I've got a great view...

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