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The Journal of Melina Raven Maness Diebold

Still struggling for inspiration
09/23/2009 07:25 p.m.
It's hard, like my mind is incapable of going there.

Comments (2)

I do the redo
09/19/2009 06:25 a.m.
I'm gonna try writing again. I feel sort of unfulfilled.
I am currently Somber
I am listening to Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby

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London Calling
12/29/2004 09:45 p.m.

I just love good music and it loves me.

Dripping with infamous euphony

To hear a song

and dance along

That is such sweet Eden to me

I am currently Cheerful
I am listening to Clash

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03/14/2003 12:20 a.m.
Whilst reviewing new member applications, I noticed someone had used Jewel poem "Me" as their own. And I wondered, if my cousin hadn't been fascinated with Jewel and read that to me, I wouldn't have known it was Jewel's. How many applications have I approved and how many poets have I lauded for work that wasn't their own. Sad to think, but I'm sure I've missed at least one. :(
I am currently Paranoid
I am listening to Don't go breaking my heart-Elton John and Kiki Dee

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Doling out laurels
03/12/2003 06:22 a.m.

to all our new members! I hope they enjoy it here and enjoy the honesty and helping critiques from everyone.

So many people are so talented! Really makes me feel like my stuff is horrid nonsensical bull-honky that doesn't even deserve to qualify as toilet paper.

I especially love the work of Tommy Witty. Read "The Raven Antipoem" and you'll agree he's aptly named.

I am currently Cheerful
I am listening to the cpu fan (again!)

Comments (0)

03/10/2003 05:41 p.m.

I dunno why but I couldn't sign in for the longest time. And now that I can I've foudn that several of my comments on my poetry are missing. :(

Oh well... nothing big I guess.


But I had an awful dream. First, I dreamed I was at my boyfriend's house and my mom's family was having Christmas dinner there. And for some reason, there was a neighbor that came into my boyfriend's house everyday. He was mentally disturbed, but not threatening. He was only wearing shorts, and would wander about for about 2 or 3 minutes waving a stick or something like a cardboard wrapping paper thing around. He thought he was some sort of a holy warrior/demon slayer or something. Anyway, my cousin poked fun at him so I stood up for the guy, (who's name was Oglai by the way...). I woke up, thought "What a strange dream!?" and went back to sleep.

This time, I dreamed I was watching a weird demon. He was the epitome of vile cruelty. He kind of looked like Mr. Blonde from Perfect Dark in the face. Or maybe a short haired Triple H. Anyway...he started out as a body without a head with another body growing on top of that lower body, with the top body's feet grown into the lower body's shoulders. The top body had the head and wings. He removed the lower body and his wings and began a career as a very very bad guy. He was a celebrity, had his on MTV endorsed cd with a hit called "Pants on Fire" about a married guy who was telling his wife he had to cheat on her b/c his 'pants where on fire'. I'm not making this up.

Ok, then, I dreamed I was watching this demon try to get some money owed him from some guy. He owed the money b/c of drugs. Anyway, he tried to get out of paying the money, so the demon beat him for an hour or so then sodomized the man unrelentlessly for 2 weeks. Since he's a demon I guess he's got that kind of endurance.

By now, I was really afraid of this demon. He obviously had no qualsm about any sort of evilness. I was in a food court, and he walked in. He then captured 4 girls, one of which was me, and he was going to make us give him oral sex, even after he'd sodomized the other guy for 2 weeks. He made the first girl do it, and then went after me. I prayed to God to help me, and I started to float. Not fast enough though and the demon grabbed my arms, still I kept floating. I floated into a nearby MacDonald's in the food court (this just keeps getting weirder, and I PROMISE, I ain't making it up). I wrestled loose and ran into a room covered in grease. I head, but he saw my red shoes and went to get me. He pinned me down and was going to make good on his threat, but I prayed to God again and suddenly it dawned on my to scratch him with my nails. I ran my hands down his body, from the neck down with my nails flaying his skin as they descended. Of course he screamed in agony and died. The police coldn't figure out who killed him and I told them to check my nails for DNA, and I somehow knew I wouldn't get in trouble.

Then, it was like I was traveling around the world looking at rundown movie theatres, and I wound up in Miami. I wandered around the building and I heard the demon's hit song being played on a radio. Some people were talking on a corner and suddenly Oglai, from my first dream, teleported in front of me, claiming he'd come to kill a demon and he needed my help. The people there pointed to a grave and said some guy had been buried there and we looked and knew it was the demon's grave. Then, Oglai said he saw the demon and that'd he'd allow me to see him too. Then I saw the demon, he was huge, as tall as the movie theatre and coal black with wings big enough to fully cover a bus. He was just standing there looking at us. And a nearby cop was standing there, oblivous to what was growing in him...a little mini version of the big demon. Oglai and I then walked away and I woke up.

Easily one of the weirdest dreams I've ever had. Even weirder than the one were my sister had died and came back only for my mom to prefer the old one and made the new one wear the rotting old one's skin.


I am currently Alienated

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My egg basket's messed up
12/20/2002 06:59 a.m.



I found out Wednesday that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It will be a struggle to conceive. That has always been a terrible fear for me. And now's it's realized. I can't help but feel like I brought it on myself. Did I not knock on wood enough? :(



I am currently Depressed
I am listening to She's got a ticket to Ride-Beatles

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Oscar would be happy
11/04/2002 08:36 p.m.

With all this mud-flinging going on.


I don't know who to vote for. It's like I'm in high school again...


He said this, (nuh uh!), he said that, (no way!), they stole this, (I did not!), they squandered that, (wasn't me!).


Poo... ok, I get, don't vote for the other guy... but, they still don't tell me why I should vote for them either.

I am currently Alienated
I am listening to Are you Lonesome tonight-Elvis

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