blog sounds alarmingly like puking
07/17/2005 12:26 a.m.
yet i'm doing it, and consistently, as of this week. etempesta.blogspot.com. the link is also on my library homepage. i'm just trying to keep my observational eye from going blind. if you read something, let me know what you think, i'd appreciate it. as stated in the first entry, i'm trying to open up my use of words to harsh public criticism. it's been interesting so far, and i'm actually fairly happy with what i've got.
I am currently Calm
I am listening to rufus wainwright - want

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the way young lovers do
07/12/2005 01:18 a.m.

this is what we do when we are bored, or uncertain, or nauseous, or exhausted. but our imagines are so based in things we don't think to presuppose that our godhood suffocates in our desire for order. creation cannot come out of order. chaos, i've come to believe, is a necessary factor, the ability to arrange and rearrange. after all, nothing was really ever new; but think of all we're doing right now. why aren't we more powerful? we are creating, we are for all purposes, god. so why are we trampled?

but i as well, i am listening to music that tells me how i feel in order to stop feeling that.

pea
06/10/2005 10:31 p.m.

wow, pea - now we've done it. or have we? for me, it's 14 yrs of something that could've just stayed under the surface but now that it's afloat i'm rather captivated. so?

messes.

miss ohio, revisited
05/26/2005 03:36 a.m.
all of a sudden, a severe pain in my gut where oberlin used to be. where the people used to be. where. where. where acceptance of body hair and love for women and taste for healthy food used to be. and in this place the emails i now get from the people i love are a tepid salve. oh me, oh my-o. look at miss ohio. god.
I am currently Frustrated
I am listening to the news

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the beginning
05/21/2005 04:32 p.m.
let us consider this the beginning of something. the signs are all there. i'm wearing high heels and listening to tom waits wail while i pack all of my belongings into boxes. the irony of it is surpassing. i love living. johnny is right. this is my religion. i want so desperately to reach you. i am whitman. i feel whitman. i have reconciled with whitman. one always does.
I am currently Festive
I am listening to "pony" tom waits

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math is hard
05/19/2005 12:45 p.m.
i feel somehow as though i've got negative hours of sleep, in spite of the fact that i slept and that any amount of sleep is going to be a positive number. i can't get myself to wake up. maybe i should run down the block naked in the slight fog. but only if i want to collapse in a consumptive fit.
I am currently Dumb
I am listening to someone peeing in the bathroom which is adjunct to my room

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interminability
05/19/2005 02:09 a.m.

i can't wait to see my family after the interminable three days to follow this interminable one. that is, if it were ever to end, which it won't, being interminable. but somehow time will bend in such a way that i do eventually reach the old home place in north carolina. and a summer of landscaping business startup with my diabetic redneck alcoholic stepfather, who i think might be the best stepfather in the world. but now, a sleepless [if i have my way] night of writing about divine sexual violence in the lyric poem from donne to yeats, and then a nap, and then early birthday lunch with my dear deb as she's got to leave before the day itself, and then an exam, and then just a few things to turn in without a concrete deadline as i pack up my earthly belongings [trashing half] while simultaneously getting falldown drunk for the remainder of my time here.

yes, i'm not concentrating on my work, thereby making it considerably worse for myself. okay, i think i have a legitimate neurological problem.

deadeadeadeadead
05/18/2005 04:37 a.m.
i need to keep studing but i can't stay awake because of the bronchitis medicine that i can't stand to be awake without.
I am currently Empty
I am listening to fan

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powerful feminist study group
05/17/2005 11:39 p.m.

oh so studying for gender in modern europe. with three fabulous women. we are the self-identified "powerful feminist study group." these ladies are so much fun, and i have no fears about the exam, i think it's actually going to be fun based on the studying we've done for it. we're at this point coming up with funny things to say in our essays. i'm so happy to sit around thinking and rambling with these fantastic people. we're such a good group! la la la la la.

work
05/07/2005 05:41 p.m.

i wish i were back at my house with all of the exceedingly fun people with whom i live. instead, i'm forcing myself to be in this awful building so i'll study. unfortunately, some assholes are in the main space, singing fucking gilbert and sullivan at the top of their lungs, and it's making me want to kill myself. i hate them. and i hate gilbert and sullivan. what's worse? NOTHING!!! that's what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!jfdklsajf;sajfsa;kdjgf;oew ajgfsdafsdfjslk;dv dsa

i can't write all these papers this way. but i really won't get any work done in the house, and i certianly won't outside, as i can't even see the screen of the laptop due to the sunshine. so what? fuck me. i have to leave. bye. shit.

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