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The Journal of Deborah S Regan happiness
09/16/2009 01:02 a.m.
haven't been on here in a while. I'm facing a lot of endings and new beginnings. I'm very excited about writing again. My kids are doing well in school and my son's getting potty trained!
I am currently Bemused
I am listening to David Bowie
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lugubrious
03/08/2006 12:59 a.m.
I've been mispronouncing this word in my head all along, the g is not soft like I thought it was. I had no idea. My ignorance is humbling. If I don't know what a word like that means, what value do I have to society?
I am currently Brooding
I am listening to the whir of my computer
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and a hoop-dee-doo...
12/12/2005 03:32 a.m.
Merry Christmas to me! I am very sleepy. I never realized how much energy being a mother could take out of you...I want to write a po-AM, but it won't come. I always seem to make journal entries around the holidays. I can't believe I've been a member of this site for four years!
I am currently Bleh
I am listening to white noise
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no picnic??
04/16/2004 02:03 a.m.
I went back to Birmingham, and ate at the very busy Cheesecake Factory. and what do you know, and old classmate invited me to a highschool reunion picnic....
Dammit, why now, when I'm at a high weight after having baby Abigail?? I am going but not for drama.
I am currently Bothered
I am listening to Robert Osborne
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chocolate chip cookies
01/05/2004 02:22 a.m.
I love to make scratch cookies. chocolate chip. it's therapy for me, but I know, I know they're not health food. they've gotta have Pillsbury Best Flour, it is the best, and walnuts, lots of walnuts. any brand of chip is good, but Nestle and Ghiraderelli are tops in my book. (but Ghiraderelli's get all melty, which may or may not be a plus.) instead of two sticks butter, I use one stick unsalted butter and 1/2 c. butter flavor crisco. then you roll an ice cream scoop of em into balls and they bake up looking as good as Mrs. Field's.
I am currently Hyper
I am listening to ambient sounds
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grumpy night
12/31/2003 06:32 a.m.
I couldn't eat dinner tonight. Jimmy made it; the chicken tasted funny; not to him, though. I felt awful about it; I've been having trouble eating meat/fast food. I've read so many awful things about slaughter houses, about workers spitting in the food. I also get nauseated during and after breastfeeding. Carbs are the only thing that goes down, but I know I should eat a variety of food. I'm still having major water retention, my right foot is bigger (swollen) than my left foot. My body won't return to normal and it makes me want to cry
I am currently Frustrated
I am listening to CNN
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baby Abigail
12/11/2003 04:40 a.m.
My baby girl was born October 23, 2003. She is so pretty, lots of hair. She smells good as well. so much personality. I think her eyes might stay blue....
I am currently Better
I am listening to Alton Brown
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Journal Entry
08/06/2002 07:51 p.m.
I've just had a miscarriage a week ago, a bad one. My moods vary; once, when I was in a recovery haze, I just floated on clouds of happiness. But that was unusual...
Yes, I've cried. I worry about my husband though. he wants a family so much. I do too; and I feel guilty for being so stressed while I was pregnant and worried about how we were going to make it. but I didn't want this.
I tell myself it's alright, I'll have a baby, and it will be fine, normal, and beautiful, and that this doesn't matter, but I keep having dreams. I dreamed last night I was still pregnant, it had all been a mistake. and then I had the baby on the kitchen sink in my parent's house, and it was a girl who stared at me with eyes exactly like my husband's blue eyes...
Life can be rather difficult...
I am currently Sad
I am listening to ambient television
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Journal Entry
01/15/2002 10:25 p.m.
hello,
it seems that poetry doesn't sell. that mine is not what I envision.
I can't reach the side of the bank I can see. in my head my thoughts ring spectacular. on paper, sometimes. on paper if I could make the wrinkled imprint of my frontal lobe appear...
I am currently Disillusioned
I am listening to the sound of the humidifier
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Journal Entry
01/03/2002 09:59 p.m.
hello journal:
blah blah blah
I'm taking a break from my workout, my heart seems to be beating too fast. I'll finish it yet! just one more set of shoulder presses, then curls and kickbacks, leglifts and crunches.
the realities of being unemployed are setting in. I've been in school all my life; help! what to do... it isn't easy being housewife. I cook full meals every week day. I am a damn good cook: Greek, Caribbean, Jewish, and southern foods are specialties. damn Huntsville! you're either an engineer or you ask engineers "want fries with that?"
and I love my mom. My husband and my gay best friend think she's crazy. It pleases me and hurts me to hear them say that. I spent years of my life believing she was the greatest. and now I know how other people see her. but nobody else is like her. I'm full of the influence of Pentecostalism, for good or bad.
now this stuff is personal. but who's reading it anyway?
if you are, nuts to you. and thank you loads!
I am currently Disillusioned
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